


Memory Lane

by Baniverse



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Bittersweet, Brain Damage, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Love, M/M, Malec, Memory, Memory Loss, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-07-12 00:25:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7076920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baniverse/pseuds/Baniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus Bane has lost something, but he can't figure out what he's lost. It haunts him as he sleeps, and nags him when he's awake. The only true peace he can find is in his best friend Catarina, and in the handsome Shadowhunter he's just met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Based after Jace is kidnapped (on tv show timeline), but he had been saved in this future. Based solely on Magnus and Alec's relationship. 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/26/16 - editing was done to grammar/displaying 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

_By the Angel_ , Alec thought, looking into window of an abandoned warehouse.  _There's nothing here._  Alec was done with this mission. Jace insisted this was the place they needed to be due to a hunch or a hint or however Jace made his terrible decisions.         

"Oh, save it." Jace said, seeing the look Alec was giving him. "I'm telling you, there's a clue here."          

"And what gave you that idea, exactly?" Alec inquired.         

"Evidence shows this is one of the warehouses Valentine used to house the Downworlders he experimented on." Jace explained, gaining a smug look on his face when Clary nodded in agreement.

Alec, Jace, Clary, Izzy, and even Magnus were all here at an abandoned warehouse to get clues on where Valentine vanished to after they got Jace back. Alec was grateful for Jace to be alive, as was Izzy and Clary, who was apparently his sister. Time had passed since then, and Jace seemed to be making good recovery. He hadn't tried to cut off anyone else's hand, at least; but he was still eager to find Valentine. Desperate, really, since he thought it was his fault Valentine got away again.           

Alec sighed and readjusted the quiver strapped to his back. He backed up from the warehouse, looking it over. It was typical and broken down, with shattered windows and junk piled around. He could see giant crates through the window, stacking up and making make-shift walls inside.            

 When he gave it a second thought, it was actually quite interesting. The crates stacked as high as walls, and seemed to be placed in a way that created a maze inside. Alec scratched the back of his head and looked to the side, wondering when Izzy and Magnus would return.            

They returned in that exact moment from the other side of the warehouse, both looking as though they had just shared a nice laugh. Izzy was dressed both to hunt and impress with her leather, heels, and red lips. Magnus had on a black trench coat that stopped at his thighs with a red laced design embroidered at the bottom, his hair streaked with red to match. Magnus's eyes ringed with black eyeliner met Alec's, and Alec was momentarily stunned by their beauty, feeling a lopsided smile on his lips. Magnus returned a dazzling smile, stopping next to Alec when they finally reached the rest of the group.      

"The rear is clear." Izzy said with a laughing smile.            

Alec rolled his eyes and said, "Let's get this over with then."

He could feel Magnus's hand touch his arm.            

Jace took out a seraph blade and gained a gleam in his eyes. Izzy unleashed her whip, and Alec took out his bow. Clary took a seraph dagger out of her boot.            

"That's cute, biscuit." Magnus said, appearing amused and looking at Clary's heeled boots. Alec laughed and Clary scrunched her nose.            

"Where else am I supposed to put it?" Clary asked.           

"Your belt?" Jace suggested, taking his position on one side of the warehouse door. Alec took the other side.            

"Whatever." Clary took her place behind Jace, and Izzy stood behind her. Magnus stood behind Alec, ready to enter. Alec wished Magnus didn't have to be here, but Magnus had insisted, explaining that there was no one better for the job if they were stopped by some ward or they had actually found something that could be used to track Valentine.              

"Are we going in anytime soon?" Magnus asked, eyebrow raised. He was the only one not in some sort of battle stance.              

"We have to be ready and in position." Jace said.            

"We also have to be quick." Magnus countered.              

Jace looked ready to reply, but Alec interrupted them both by entering the warehouse. Jace and Magnus went in after him, followed by Izzy and Clary.   

Quietly they searched the warehouse, remaining in shouting distance of each other. It was bigger than Alec thought, and he could feel Magnus's hand on his arm with a protective grip. It was late, and Alec wished they were in Magnus's loft instead of humoring one of Jace's hunches. He didn't tell Alec what sort of evidence he found, which made him suspect there was no real evidence.

_Maybe he came here when he was with Valentine, but didn't want to say anything about it,_  the little voice in Alec's head suggested. Jace never directly spoke of his time with Valentine. This thought made Alec tense; maybe there was still things Jace wasn't being open about.

"Hey." Magnus whispered, his hand still on Alec's arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Alec whispered back, looking back at Magnus. He looked back at him with his cat eyes, abandoning his glamour. There were mixes of emerald and gold that calmed Alec's agitated thoughts. 

"I'm here." Magnus reminded him. The warehouse had a sort of gloom coming over it, and Alec thought this was why Magnus's hand was now equipped with a small ball of blue flames. 

"I know." Alec leaned in and Magnus met him half-way. It was a quick kiss, but Alec still marveled at the feel of Magnus's soft lips and the strange, sugary smell of his magic mixed with sandalwood.  When Alec pulled back, he was stunned by the look in Magnus's eyes. They looked more vulnerable than ever. 

Magnus gave him a smile that threatened to rip out his heart. "Alec-" 

Alec's eyes shifted away from Magnus's face to the crates behind them. With the swiftness and grace of a Shadowhunter, he pulled Magnus behind him and grabbed an arrow from his quiver, loading it into his bow. 

Alec shot right into the heart of a humanoid demon with gray-scaled skin and five sets of teeth.

Magnus, quickly collecting himself, shot a ball of flames at another demon that appeared. It sent that one flying and crashing into the wall of crates behind it, revealing a stunned Clary.

Magnus's magic hadn't killed the demon, but a quick Clary did. She jumped over the crates and stabbed her dagger right through the demon's head, her ponytail flying behind her. 

_Shit_ , Alec thought. He took another arrow out of his quiver. 

"Where are the others?" He asked Clary, his eyes roaming.

Clary shook her head. "Jace was with me but then Izzy told him she found something so he went to her. That was before the crates fell." 

Alec opened his mouth to speak, but then they all heard a low growl from behind the wall of crates next to them.

All three of them turned to the noise. Alec drew his bow and pointed it at the space between the crates.

He had expected a demon to appear for him to shoot in the head; he hadn't expected thirty demons to poke their heads around the corner. Through the huge slit between the crates, about thirty sets of red demonic eyes stared back at them.

Alec shot one right in between it's red eyes, and then he yelled "Go!" 

He didn't have to tell them the other two twice. Magnus shot one with flames, and Clary gave up one of her daggers by throwing it right into a demon's head, but right after that happened the two ran the other way, Alec close behind them. They ran down a hallway of crates, reaching a huge passage that connected to another hallway. The demons screeched behind them and chased them like a horde of fast-paced zombies. 

The hallway connected to their new passage revealed Jace and Izzy, who both seemed to be running away from the same problem. 

"Izzy!" Alec yelled, drawing back his bow. Izzy ducked her head, avoiding the arrow that shot the head of the demon behind her.  Alec turned and shot two more demons from the mass that followed them. Blue flames appeared, knocking demons down and killing some of them, spilling ichor. Alec felt an someone pulling on his arm.

"We have to go!" Izzy said, her breathing audible behind Alec.

Alec knew she was right; there were just too many. The exit was behind them, so together they backed up, their fronts to the horde.

 

* * *

 

Magnus did not intend to spend his Saturday night like this. In his mind, he was going to stay at his loft with Alec, having a nice strawberry-vodka cocktail. Perhaps he would have made a Lemon Drop; Alec enjoyed those, and Magnus enjoyed tasting the citrus on Alec's lips when he stole kisses in the moments after.  

 He was, however, here instead, battling a horde of demons in an abandoned warehouse. It was his own fault really; he insisted on going. 

 The others were making their exit, and Magnus figured he ought to be doing the same. 

However, the demons were doing a fabulous job at creating a wall of impenetrable doom, and Magnus couldn't quite see how they were gonna make it to a safer distance in this state. 

The ball of flames in Magnus's hands grew in size, gaining highlights of purple within the blue. Magnus knew what he had to do in order to ensure that the demons didn't make it out of this warehouse, but they were going to have to be quick. He noticed Alec turn his head in Magnus's direction, so Magnus naturally turned towards him as well. The shadowhunter had just shot another arrow, and his beautiful eyes were illuminated by the light of Magnus's flames. Alec looked pointedly at Magnus's hands and appeared to catch on to what he was doing. 

He visibly inhaled and started making rather wild gestures to the others, indicating to turn and just start running towards the exit.

Izzy, trusting her brother, linked her arm through Clary's and grabbed Jace's leather jacket, pulling them both out of the trance the horde had them in. 

 

Alec gave up one more arrow before getting behind Magnus, his hand gripped tightly to Magnus's waist, ready to pull him back if the horde got too close. At this moment, both of Magnus's hands had his magical flames. Magnus felt the magic moving inside him, concentrating into his hands.

Then, after a quick inhale, he shot flames on either side of him, creating a fiery barrier between them and the demons. Many of the demons caught on fire, as did the wooden crates and drapes hanging from the ceiling. The entire warehouse was on fire in seconds with both Magnus and Alec in it. 

When they made it outside of the warehouse, Jace looked appalled. 

"The needle!" He exclaimed, looking towards the flames.

"Jace-" Clary was grabbing onto his arm and appeared to be holding him back.

"No! We need it, Clary." His eyes roamed the warehouse, looking for an entry way.

"What happened?" Alec asked, taking in Jace's state.

"Izzy and I found one of the needles Valentine used for experiments! We could use it to track him, Alec. We need it."

Alec sighed and pointed at the warehouse. "It's gone, Jace. We can't go back in there." 

Magnus nodded in agreement. He had completely covered the warehouse ground with flames with no intention of returning inside. 

"Alec-"

" _Jace_. No, okay? I'm sorry, but we can't. It's too dangerous." Alec put his hand on Jace's shoulder. "We'll keep looking. We'll find something else; but not here. It's not worth it." 

Jace kept his eyes on Alec's before looking down and nodding. Alec stepped back and stood next to Magnus.

Magnus clapped his hands together. 

"Alright, Shadowhunters! Now that we have all agreed that this-" he pointed at the warehouse, his rings flickering in the light," is a no-go, I say we go back to my place for drinks. Actually," he looked at his invisible watch," it's getting rather late. Perhaps you all should be making your way home; it's past your bedtime. Alec and I will just-" 

"Jace!" Izzy exclaimed, running towards the flaming warehouse. Alec left Magnus's side and ran right behind her. 

_Sigh_. Magnus couldn't catch a break. Of course blondie made a run for it. Magnus should have locked chains around his ankles the moment he showed interest in going back into the warehouse; only someone who wasn't mentally stable could have had such a thought. 

After a moment of pondering whether or not he was ever gonna get his Lemon Drop kisses tonight, Magnus ran to the flaming warehouse where Alec and Izzy had already disappeared.

When he entered, he cleared off a path of flames that was trying to cover the door.  He could see ichor everywhere, but he couldn't see any of the Lightwood siblings.

He pushed forward, extinguishing flames as he went. That's when he saw the devil himself; Jace was kneeling on the floor, looking quite accomplished. He held a nasty looking needle in his hand.

"Jace!" Magnus called, noting the flames that were quickly surrounding the Shadowhunter. As much as Magnus hated him in that moment, he couldn't let him burn to death.

When Jace looked up at his name being called, Magnus was concentrating his magic towards him, extinguishing the flames around him and creating a clearer path so that he could make his way to where Magnus stood.

Jace saw Magnus; he also saw the six foot, gray-scaled demon extending it's giant hand over Magnus's head. 

Horror quickly engulfed Jace before he yelled "Magnus!" and reached for a dagger, but it was too late.

_Oh_. Magnus thought when he felt a giant hand with rather sharp claws grab the top of his head. This was not good.

Magnus reached behind him with a ball of flames, but he wasn't quick enough. The demon lifted Magnus by his head and slammed him against the hard, concrete floor. 

Magnus wasn't really sure what happened next. He was vaguely aware of being slammed against the ground a second time, causing the pain in his head to increase. He thought he saw a dagger land in the demon's arm, and then an arrow. 

After being dropped to the ground, Magnus couldn't really find it in him to get up. He couldn't find it in him to even move his head, he was in so much pain. He thought he saw blood; he could definitely taste it, at least. His vision blurred, but then he saw an angel in his line of sight. 

Alec was holding him, one of his hands on Magnus's face. Alec looked horrified; he also looked like he, too, was in pain.

_Did he get hurt too?_  Magnus thought, his head hurting with the effort to even think. He thought he heard voices and screams and a heart-breaking sob. He thought he saw Alec's lips say Magnus's name. His ears were ringing too loudly for him to be sure he had said it. 

For a second, he was confused by the darkness. Then he realized he had shut his eyes. 

The last thing he felt was his body being rocked against a pleasantly warm one. 

 Then everything went blank.    


	2. Raspberry Martini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month after the events that took place in the abandoned warehouse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Received some positive comments on the prologue. Thank you so much for that, I love seeing them!
> 
> 7/26/16 - edits made to grammar/wording

_Sigh_. Magnus felt boredom at the edges of his mind as he sipped his martini. It was a delicious mix of vodka and raspberry that he enjoyed; the drunk fairy with pretty, dark skin and platinum hair seemed to think so too as she took a sip.

Magnus let her have it, taking a second to admire the shimmering confetti adorning her hair. He then stepped away from her, deciding to rest on the leather couch on the far side of Pandemonium. 

This was his weekend routine. He would come to the club he owned and have a drink or two, dance with a beautiful woman or a handsome man (or even a handsome woman or a beautiful man), and then he ended up on this very couch, spending the rest of his night there. 

It wasn't as fun as it used to be. Magnus vaguely remembered a time where the party started when he arrived, but now it simply continued on without him. 

He caught his reflection on the mirroring wall to his right; he still looked the part, at least. He wore black leather pants and a very gold, silky shirt mixed with traces of a dark red. He noticed a smudge of eyeliner in the corner of his eye; he fixed it while admiring the gold streaks in his hair. Yes, he definitely still looked the part.

Accepting the martini handed to him - this one also tasted like raspberry with a bit more sugar - he let his eyes roam Pandemonium in all its glory.

That's when he saw him. 

Magnus sat back with a smile and appraised the man he saw before him, standing in his club like a dark knight. 

He was tall, and the lights of Pandemonium danced on his pale skin. His hair, darker than midnight, contrasted nicely with his skin and matched his completely black apparel. 

Completely black. Leather. Magnus's eyes traveled down - stopping a second to admire the dark-haired boy's behind - before landing on its intended destination.

 _A seraph blade,_  Magnus noted. It was hidden in its handle on the dark-haired boy's belt. The young man Magnus had just been checking out was a Shadowhunter.  

Magnus noticed that the young man's posture was a bit...defensive. His eyes - Magnus couldn't tell if they were hazel or blue from this far - were searching but also avoiding. He was obviously trying to not run into someone. 

Magnus looked around, searching. He found two more Shadowhunters, both dressed in their hunting gear. One of them was a blond, arrogant looking boy and the other was a girl that looked very similar to the dark-haired boy. 

They, too, were searching. Three Shadowhunters dressed in leather with hidden weapons. It occurred to Magnus that there must have been demon activity in his club.

This didn't particularly surprise him, but he did a quick sweep of the club to see any visible signs of demon activity. He didn't see any urgent threats.

He figured he had enough time to make his move before the cute boy had duties to fulfill.

Suddenly no longer bored, he rose gracefully from the couch and made his way to the lower floor, heading in the direction of his shadowhunter. When he reached him, his back was facing Magnus. 

Pleased with this, Magnus took a second to admire his behind again before getting as close as he could without setting off the boy's instincts. 

Magnus got close enough to whisper.

"Hello, there." 

Magnus expected that he took the Shadowhunter by surprise, but he hadn't expected him to tense up as bad as he did. 

Although this did do wonderful things to his shoulders. 

Forcing his eyes off said shoulders, he continued. 

"I'm Magnus. And you are?" Magnus let his breath hit the back of the Shadowhunter's neck, and he saw tiny hairs stand where his breath hit.

The Shadowhunter turned quickly, mildly surprising Magnus. He couldn't say he was sorry, though, when he got a proper look at his face.

His face was all angles and sharp features, strong and elegant. His lips were a nice pink color. Magnus could see a deflect rune on his neck, which he thought accented it quite well. The last thing Magnus saw were his eyes; his deep, beautiful eyes that appeared to be stressed at the moment. 

Magnus smiled coyly, waiting for an answer to his question. The beautiful boy didn't offer one, just stared at Magnus with distressed eyes.

"Your name?" Magnus asked again, swaying slightly. No answer.

Magnus wasn't one to be put off so easily. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned another raspberry martini and offered it, still smiling.

"Thirsty?" Magnus winked. 

The Shadowhunter looked at the martini. "I...uh."

He was stuttering. _How adorable,_ Magnus thought. 

"I don't drink on the job." He finally said, his voice deep and rough. Magnus liked the sound very much.

"Of course not." He made the martini disappear with another flick of his wrist. Then, after a second thought, he made it reappear and took a sip from it himself.

The Shadowhunter watched the entire disappearing act. His eyes stayed on the martini until Magnus raised it to his lips. He looked away. 

When he looked to his left, Magnus got a good look of his side profile. Magnus hadn't noticed when he reached for his seraph blade, but he did notice when he started moving away from Magnus. 

Magnus raised his eyebrows and looked in the direction the Shadowhunter was heading. 

It appeared as though demons had invaded Pandemonium. 

They were in human form, yes, but it was quite obvious to someone who knew of the existence of demons what they were. There were three of them, disguised as regular party people, disappearing behind a curtain in a more private part of the club.

Magnus watched the two other Shadowhunters disappear behind the curtain. The girl, beautiful and rocking a red lip, looked back to the dark-haired boy. Her eyes lifted higher and landed on Magnus. 

She smiled, and Magnus smiled back politely. It wasn't until she disappeared when he realized how sad that smile was. 

 _Strange_ , Magnus thought, as he watched the boy disappear behind the curtain after the girl. 

Magnus drank the rest of his martini and decided that whatever was happening behind that curtain was his business. He made his way to the curtain and drew it back, entering the secluded part of the club. 

Magnus had witnessed Shadowhunters in battle before, or at least he vaguely remembered doing so. He was still memorized by the grace of his Shadowhunter.

His seraph blade was extended and slashing through the body of a demon, spilling ichor. Without pausing, he turned and cut the neck of another demon sneaking up behind him. 

The blond boy was fighting demons in a similar fashion, his movements synchronized with the dark-haired boy.

The girl had her whip wrapped around the body of a demon. With a pull, she brought it closer and put a seraph dagger through its head.

Magnus saw another Shadowhunter, he thought, among the chaos. Before he could get a good look, it was over and all the demons were killed. 

It was then that the blond boy looked up and at Magnus. Was that guilt in his eyes? Surely he didn't think Magnus minded having them in his club. He was glad he hadn't had to deal with the demons himself. 

Magnus thought this would have been a good opportunity to get the dark-haired Shadowhunter's name and number. He hadn't expected him to run for the back door.

Magnus rose from the wall he was leaning against. "Wait!" He nearly ran in the direction of the Shadowhunter who stopped unwillingly. 

"What is your name?" Magnus asked once he reached him, holding onto his arm. Magnus tried not to think about how nice the young man's arm felt under his hand, and instead focused on his answer. 

He looked first at the hand Magnus had on his arm, and then up at his eyes. His beautiful eyes were clouded with some sort of conflict. 

The girl and the blond boy passed by them, getting outside the door. Magnus's grip was tight like the grip of a desperate man, and Magnus couldn't understand why he was so insistent. He just knew he needed to know this beautiful boy's name.

"Alec." He said in a voice so low Magnus almost didn't hear it, but he had. 

"Alec." Magnus repeated, his grip loosening without him realizing. 

The beautiful young man named Alec took this opportunity to remove his arm and turn away, going through the door without looking back. 

The beautiful Shadowhunter was named Alec. Magnus was momentarily satisfied with that knowledge, until he was bumped into by a tiny redhead, trying to make her way through the same door as the others.

When Magnus saw her face, he froze. The redhead looked back at him, a little stunned herself. 

Magnus couldn't breathe. Something was stuck in his throat, and his vision was starting to blur. Images too quick for him to process flashed through his mind, and his head was starting to feel as though he had just gained a migraine. 

But then it was over. Two big hands grabbed the girl's shoulders and pulled her out of his sight, and the pain left him and his vision returned. When it did, he saw that it was Alec who pulled the girl away. 

Five seconds later, Magnus didn't remember what happened when he looked at the girl. He didn't remember the images, the blurred vision, the lost breath, or the look of regret in her eyes. 

He only wondered when he would see Alec again. 

 


	3. Mocaccino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus visits a coffee shop and thinks about the Shadowhunter he met while also giving us insight on the patterns of his life since the abandoned warehouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/27/16 - edits made to grammar/wording 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

Swirls of caramel covered the top of Magnus's macchiato; he was ruining the design with a stirring straw, forcing the cream down. 

He thought about the beautiful Shadowhunter - Alec - and cursed himself again for not getting a number. He shouldn't have been so put off, though; there was over eight million mundanes in New York City alone, but not as many Shadowhunters. He could find him, if he only tried instead of moping over his over-whipped, sugar-free coffee. 

He sat back in the wooden chair and lifted his cup from the round, wooden table. Magnus drank his beverage in a coffee shop close to his loft in Brooklyn; it was small and cozy and very mundane, forcing Magnus to hide his eyes with a glamour.

He didn't feel like going far to a coffee shop familiar to the Shadow World, so he accepted it. 

Catarina had visited him earlier that morning as she had been doing quite often these days. She was always coming into his loft and making him breakfast or lunch or both. 

Magnus wondered if she did that because she was feeling lonely lately. Perhaps Magnus ought to be a good friend and set her up with someone, so she didn't feel the need to invade Magnus's loft almost everyday.

Not that he was truly bothered; she made excellent tea. 

The door to the coffee shop had a charming bell that rung every time someone entered. Magnus looked up when he heard the pleasant note, and then nearly spit his coffee out. 

There stood Alec in all his glory, making his way to the coffee counter.

Magnus was struck by the way Alec's appearance made his heart leap. He was even more beautiful in this light than in the flickering ones at Pandemonium last night.

He still sported the all black apparel - black jeans and a dark leather jacket - but it was much more casual than his hunting gear. His hair was a mess, although Magnus figured this was how he always wore his hair. Only some men could pull that off, and Alec appeared to be one of them. 

Magnus quickly wiped a trickle of coffee that had made it down his chin with a napkin and checked his reflection in the reflective window. Today his hair wasn't streaked with any color, but was gelled up and had hints of glitter. He puffed and then smoothed his purple, silky shirt and made sure no coffee spilled on his black pants.

He turned away from the window and forced his body into a casual position. Alec was taking his coffee from the counter. The Shadowhunter appeared tense and nervous; Magnus wondered if that was his natural mood. 

"Alec!" Magnus called lightly, raising his hand, revealing his silver rings. 

Alec visibly inhaled and turned towards Magnus, coffee in hand. His eyes looked at Magnus's hand instead of his face. 

Magnus gave his best flirty grin and gestured to his table. "Why don't you come sit here?" 

Alec looked pointedly at the non-existent seat in front of Magnus. He hadn't expected any company coming to the coffee shop, so Magnus had sat at a table that only seated one.

Magnus looked around; the only mundane had his back turned, looking at his laptop with headphones plugged in, and the coffee shop owner had her back turned, filling the coffee pot.

With a wave of his hand, an unoccupied chair from nearly the other side of the small shop, dragged by invisible hands across the wooden floor, landed properly on the other side of Magnus's table. 

Again, Magnus gestured, this time towards a now existent seat. 

Alec was looking at the ground now, a small smile appearing on his face. It was gone when he looked up, and Magnus wished it hadn't left. 

Alec walked to the summoned chair and stood behind it.

"I don't bite." Magnus said, still smiling. Then, after a quick pause; 

"Unless that's what you're into." 

Alec didn't appear to have a proper comment to that, so he sat down. He shrugged off his leather jacket, revealing a dark blue cotton shirt that almost clung to his body. Magnus didn't suspect this to be intentional - the young man clearly worked out for a living, and therefore had a fit chest and muscled arms - but Magnus was grateful for the sudden arrangement either way. 

Magnus made a show of stirring his coffee. "I don't believe I've ever seen you in this shop before, _Alec_." Magnus stretched out his name.

Alec shrugged, sipping his coffee. "I've never seen you here, either."

"You didn't come here for me, did you?" 

The sides of Alec's mouth turned down, and he took another sip of his coffee.

He shrugged again. "I heard this place had good coffee."

"Oh it does." Magnus confirmed. "In many different forms. Macchiatos, lattes - they even have alcoholic coffee drinks."

"Really?" Alec set his cup down, not looking at Magnus but nodding to show he was listening.

Magnus nodded, and looked at Alec's mug.

"...and yet you went with black." 

Alec's lips pressed together, and he looked down at his mug. His eyebrows were drawn together in what could have been confusion...but Magnus suspected it was something else. 

He just didn't know what.

Alec looked up and made eye contact with Magnus. His eyes seemed...gloomy. Not because of this moment, but with his day, his week - perhaps his entire life in general. Strings pulled at Magnus's heart, and he wondered what exactly was causing Alec so much pain.

Magnus couldn't have looked away if he wanted to; so Alec did.

He looked towards the coffee counter, and then back at Magnus. He gave Magnus a light smile that tacked on another string to his heart.

"Should I get something different then?"

Magnus nodded his approval. "It might improve your mood to get something that tastes a bit better."

"What do you suggest?"

Magnus's eyes lit up with this challenge. He looked at the coffee counter and had no problem at all seeing the menu with his heightened sight.

"Hmm...do you like chocolate?"

"Of course."

Magnus smiled. "Get a mocaccino." 

Alec turned towards the menu, trying to see what Magnus saw. He had to squint before he saw it.

"That's...cute." Alec raised an eyebrow, and Magnus noted with interest that he had a cut there. 

"Not manly enough?" Magnus laughed. 

Alec looked back at Magnus and almost gave him a full smile before getting up and making his way to the coffee counter.

When he returned, he had with him a mocaccino with a heart made in cream on top. He also carried a tiny plate with two biscottis; he pushed the plate towards Magnus.

"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything." He picked up a biscotti and saw that it was cinnamon hazelnut flavor; Magnus's favorite kind.

"Nevermind, I'll take it. How did you know I liked these?" Magnus asked, looking up and still holding the biscotti.

Alec shrugged; he seemed to do a lot of that. "Lucky guess? You look like a cinnamon hazelnut kind of guy." 

"Do I?" Magnus laughed at that idea. "Thank you." 

Alec nodded and watched Magnus dip the biscotti in his coffee before eating it. It felt wrong to talk, so he didn't; he simply ate the biscottis Alec had given him. Alec sipped at his mocaccino and watched Magnus the entire time. 

The silence wasn't uncomfortable, which almost struck Magnus as a strange. Alec seemed content enough to watch Magnus, which should have struck Magnus as strange; but he had never been the type to reject attention from a handsome man.

Alec finished his mocaccino at almost the same time Magnus finished the biscottis. Alec looked outside the window, giving Magnus another good look at his side profile.

"I should go." Alec said, not looking back.

Magnus was shocked out of his trance. "Oh, do you have somewhere to be?" 

Alec opened his mouth and then closed it. He could have lied and said that 'yes, he did have somewhere to be'; but instead he said -

"No, but I should really go."

He got up from his chair and grabbed his jacket, shrugging it back on in a rush. 

Magnus rose from his chair. "Alec, wait- I..." Magnus didn't know what he was trying to say. His head started to throb a bit with pain on one side. 

And he was stuttering. It wasn't like him to stutter. 

He touched the side of his head and shut his eyes for a second. He was scared Alec would just leave, but when he opened his eyes he still stood there, looking at Magnus this time.

His expression had softened, and he looked at Magnus with a careful gaze. He stood there patiently, waiting for Magnus to say what he had to say. 

"I didn't get a chance to ask for your number last night." Magnus finally said, the pain in his head receding. He grinned at Alec flirtatiously, feeling more himself again.

Alec adjusted his jacket, leaving it open.  
He was still looking at Magnus.

"Is that what you're asking for now?" He asked, his voice deep.

Magnus didn't say anything, just continued to smile.

Alec held his hand out, and Magnus almost took it before realizing what he wanted. Magnus took out his phone and unlocked it before putting it in his open hand. Their hands brushed, and Magnus noticed that they were cool, but still pleasant to touch.

Alec seemed to navigate through Magnus's phone with ease - he must have the same or a similar model - as he entered his number. 

When he handed it back, Magnus was satisfied. Alec stared at him for a second.

And then seemed to remember that he _really had to go_ , because he turned suddenly and left the coffee shop. 

When he left, Magnus felt...lost. It wasn't exactly a new feeling; it was one he'd been having for a while now. He was ready to leave the coffee shop, so he looked around his chair, checking to see if he had dropped anything.

He hadn't, but that lost feeling didn't leave him. It never really did, but Magnus didn't dwell on it. He had a handsome young man's number, and that was something to brag about. 

He couldn't wait to tell his cat. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice a lot of things, as the story goes on, that seem out of character for Magnus. 
> 
> I received some more positive comments on "Raspberry Martinis" that I loved seeing! Keep commenting, and don't be afraid to leave some constructive criticism if you feel it fits. This is my first official Malec fanfic.


	4. Hurricanes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meets a Shadowhunter while he's out on an errand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the second scene, the song I was listening to that the lyrics come from are "Make Me Fade" by K.Flay, the B.Lewis Remix. 
> 
> 7/27/16 - edits made to grammar
> 
> All characters (besides the ones I make up) belong to Cassandra Clare.

_Wolfsbane, valerian root, death flower..._

Magnus was in a downworlder shop, browsing the aisle full of ingredients. He needed the right ingredient for the potion he was creating for a client. 

_Bloodstone, sunstone..._

"Are you leaving anytime soon? I've got a hot date later." 

Magnus turned his head up and stared at the shop owner. She was a pink-skinned warlock with black hair that cascaded past her waist and lips purple like a plum. She was smacking her gum very loudly, and Magnus raised his eyebrows when it got even louder. 

"Do you have any mandrake root?" He asked politely. 

She pointed at the space behind Magnus. "Next to the beetles." 

Magnus turned and instantly saw the small root that looked like a mangled little man, right next to a rainbow selection of beetles. 

He took some mandrake root, paused, then grabbed a couple of beetles too: he was running low on those. 

He made his way to the counter and put down his basket. The shop owner sighed loudly - _how rude_ \- and took the basket before ringing up his items. 

Magnus took out his wallet; he raised his head suddenly when he saw a set of garnet-colored rings start to glow.

"Why are they glowing?" Magnus asked.

The shop owner drew her eyebrows together. "They sense demon activity." Then she looked at the window behind Magnus. 

"Oh, great." She sighed.

"What?" Magnus turned his head but saw nothing out the window; it was late and the sun had almost completely set. 

"Nephilim! Near my shop - that's not good for business, you know." She shook her head disapprovingly. 

Magnus's movements quickened; he dropped down a couple of bills and took his bag, walking quickly to the door. 

"If you see any Nephilim, tell them to stay away from my shop!" She said before waving her hand and twirling her fingers, closing all the drapes and locking the doors magically when Magnus made it outside. 

He rounded a corner and stopped when he made it to an alley. That's when he saw it; a grotesque, flying demon that looked like a giant version of the beetles Magnus had in his bag. 

Before he could react to it, a seraph blade went through its body making it screech and burst, causing ichor to splatter all over the alley walls and flooring. 

Amongst all the ichor was the blond, arrogant-looking Shadowhunter from Pandemonium the night Magnus met Alec. 

The Shadowhunter looked at him with wide eyes. "Magnus?" 

"Ah." Magnus said. "So he's talked about me. That's to be expected." 

He looked around the alley.

"Is he here?" 

"Who?" Blondie looked confused.

"Alec. Who else?" Magnus checked behind him. "He hasn't returned my call. It's only been a day, but I expect a message at least." 

Blondie shook his head. "Alec isn't with me." 

"No?" Magnus raised his eyebrows. The Shadowhunter looked a little sad about that fact. "Not really friends, are you?"

His eyes - which Magnus noticed were an interesting combination of blue and a golden brown on one eye - turned defensive.

"He's my parabatai." His tone, too, was defensive. 

"Don't parabatai usually fight demons together?" Magnus was familiar enough with parabatai to know this.

He hesitated. "We do, but he..." He took a deep breath. "He isn't very happy with me right now."

"Trouble in paradise?" Magnus asked.

Blondie shuffled his feet, and wiped the ichor off his blade against his pants.

"Something like that." He finally responded.

Magnus nodded his understanding. "What are you doing about it?"

His eyebrows drew together. "What do you mean?"

"What are you doing to make amends?"

Blondie shook his head. Magnus saw guilt in his eyes.

"You don't understand. There's nothing I can do." 

"Surely there's something you can do. Parabatai can't be at odds forever; when they do, it usually leads to some nasty business." Magnus thought he had a good example to give, but when he tried to think about it his head began to throb. He decided that what he did say would have to be enough.

"What is your name?" Magnus asked.

"Jace."

"Good. Now Trace, here's what I want you to do - I want you tell Alec that you saw me. Tell him we made marvelous conversation, and that I mentioned I would be at Pandemonium tomorrow night. Be sure to mention how fabulous and handsome I looked." Magnus nodded with finality and turned away, making his way out of the alley. 

He heard a light chuckle behind him. "Yeah...I'll do that."

_You better_ , Magnus thought, before finally making his way back home. 

 

 

   
Magnus had taken great care with his outfit tonight.

He wore leather pants that were tinted purple and a dark, silky shirt with a few buttons undone to show some of Magnus's chest. Many necklaces accented this part of his body, all silver and gold. His nails matched, as did the streaks in his hair, and the glitter was just the cherry on top.

In simpler terms, he was dressed to impress, and if Alec didn't show up tonight to catch Magnus looking this fabulous, well...

He would not be pleased. 

Magnus almost checked his phone, but had decided not to. It wasn't like he directly invited Alec to be there - he simply made Trace a messenger of Magnus's whereabouts tonight. 

Magnus sat back on his leather couch of loneliness and watched the thrills of Pandemonium for a good ten minutes.

Then he finally saw him.

Alec sat at the bar on the far side of Pandemonium, his black apparel making him almost blend in with the black mosaic. Both of his hands rested on the bar, and one of his hands was playing with the fingers of the other. 

"Why, hello Alec." Magnus said, sliding onto the stool next to him.

Alec looked up at Magnus, and then his eyes traveled down his body. Magnus thought he saw something pleasant in those depths, but Alec had already looked away. 

"Hey, Magnus." His voice sounded as awkward as his words.

Magnus smiled. "What brings you here tonight?" Now that he was this close, he could see that Alec, while still sporting all black, did wear a nice button-down that showed off his arms very well, and black pants that Magnus was sure showed off his behind just as well. 

"Jace told me you'd be here." Alec answered honestly, and he had obviously not missed the way Magnus's eyes had traveled down his body.

"Who?...Oh, you mean Trace." 

Alec smiled at that. It was a genuine one that touched his eyes, and Magnus was momentarily breathless.

Alec turned to the bar. "I'm not sure what to get." 

Magnus loved this game, and Alec seemed to know it. "Oh!" He exclaimed, and turned towards the bar. 

After a moment, he said,"Do you like vodka and rum?"

Alec thought for a second, then nodded.

Magnus grinned. "Get a Hurricane." 

Alec smiled again and nodded before signaling the bartender.

"Two Hurricanes, please." The bartender left to make their drinks. When he returned, Alec passed one to Magnus.

Magnus smiled his gratitude before taking it, purposely brushing his hand with Alec's.

Magnus sipped his drink, familiar with the citrus taste; Alec still held his, looking apprehensive.

Magnus smiled. "Not much of a drinker?" 

Alec shook his head and looked at him. "Not as much as you are." 

"Are you calling me a drunk?" Magnus scoffed. "You don't know me that well."

Alec looked away and shrugged, finally bringing his drink to his lips. When he took a sip, his face scrunched up adorably.

Magnus froze, his eyes locked on Alec's face. 

Alec smiled and turned back to him, but Magnus's eyes were glazed and he was frowning. 

"Magnus?" Alec said, his voice deep.

"Hmm?" Magnus's eyes focused again. "Sorry. Had a bit of a _de ja vu_ moment." He gave a light chuckle before drinking more of his Hurricane, enjoying the flavor.

Alec was frowning now. He looked down at his Hurricane. A cold mood washed over both of them, and Magnus wanted it to go away.

He touched Alec's arm, keeping it there until Alec looked back. When he did, Magnus grinned widely.

"Wanna dance?" Magnus let his hand travel down Alec's arm until it touched the top of his hand. There was a rune there that Magnus was tempted to trace with his fingers, but he kept his hand still on top of Alec's. 

Alec stared at Magnus's hand and nodded, drinking some of his Hurricane before getting up.

Magnus led him to dance floor filled with people, both mundane and of the Shadow World. Magnus still held Alec's hand lightly, giving him opportunity to let go if he wanted; Alec didn't let go.

When they reached a good spot Magnus turned to Alec, already feeling the beat flowing through his body. The floor was illuminated with lights that played on the dancing feet. 

The song playing was fast-paced and sultry with the kind of beat Magnus loved. He started to move his body, moving his hip up with the beat. 

Alec stood there, not moving, just watching him. Magnus let him for a minute before holding both his hands in his. 

_You make me fade_

Magnus pulled him closer, letting Alec feel the way Magnus was moving. Alec started to follow, his movements in sync with Magnus's.

_You make me fade_  

The heat from both of their bodies made them feverish. Their faces got closer, and their breaths mingled. 

_I'm quiet when you make me fade_

Alec's eyes had glazed over; there was desire in those depths that entranced Magnus. His arms had moved around Magnus, pulling him closer. Magnus's hands went up his chest and rested on his shoulders. 

_You make me fade_

Magnus was close to Alec's neck; he pressed a careful kiss there and then breathed in. He smelled like soap and fresh mint. Suddenly, Magnus's lips were on his cheek. 

The feeling of their bodies so close together put Magnus in bliss. Their legs brushed each other's, as did their hips. 

The warmth was intense, and Magnus wanted his lips on Alec's lips so he could see if they were as soft as they looked. He was so close. 

_You make me fade_

When Alec had suddenly disentangled himself from Magnus's grip, he felt terribly cold.

_No_. Magnus thought, pulled out of his trance. Alec had disappeared in the crowd, leaving him alone.

Magnus felt anxiety creep into his chest. He felt an end coming upon him, as if Alec was taking something away, something he wasn't ready to lose.

_Where did he go?_ Magnus nearly ran through the crowd of people, feeling very cold despite the heat coming off all the dancing bodies. 

He pushed his way out of the crowd and saw Alec walking towards an exit.

Magnus ran forward and grabbed his arm. 

"Alec, why-" Magnus stopped. He was short of breath, not from the running but from the anxiety. What was wrong with him? 

Alec turned and looked at him. What Magnus saw was unreadable.

"You're leaving?" Magnus finally said.

Alec didn't say anything, just nodded.

"I –" Magnus wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to ask why he was leaving. He wanted to ask if he had pushed him too far. But the only words his mouth could form was...

"Will I see you again?" 

Alec was looking down now. "I'll call you." 

_Oh_. Magnus took his hand off Alec's arm and looked away. 

"No, Magnus-" Alec took his hand and put his other on Magnus's face, turning it back to him. His expression was careful, but his eyes were sincere.

"I mean it." He whispered, his face close. Their breaths mingled again, and Magnus looked at Alec's lips. 

He nodded.

Alec leaned in and Magnus's breath caught, but then he kissed his cheek; his lips were soft and he lingered there for a moment before letting him go and leaving Pandemonium.

Magnus stood there for a moment, and then another. He could still feel Alec's lips on his cheek.

And they were, indeed, as soft as they looked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some awesome comments on "Mocaccino". I love reading them. Let me know how y'all felt about this chapter.
> 
> I'm excited about the next chapter. Expect it later today or tomorrow. (Most likely tomorrow, I didn't get much sleep last night haha).


	5. Hot Cocoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus gets a visit from Catarina, and takes a trip to Central Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/27/16 - edits made
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

Magnus laid in a pool of satin sheets. It was noon, and he had just woken up with a pounding head and a hurting heart. 

This wasn't the first time he woke up like this; sometimes he would wake up with a sense of urgency that he couldn't place. 

He had to see someone. He had to be somewhere. He just didn't know who or what.

So instead he forced himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom; he washed his face and stared at his reflection in a mirror with a small crack in the corner. 

The longer he stared at his reflection, the bigger the crack grew.

He heard the door buzzer, and then the front door opening. He went back into his room and grabbed a dark purple robe before making his way to the kitchen. 

Catarina was there, twirling around. She was humming a sunny tune, grabbing bread, chicken, cheese, and salsa as she passed each cupboard and the fridge. Her long skirt billowed around her, and her pretty blue skin looked even brighter against the darker tones of his kitchen.

When she saw him, she gasped.

"Surely you did not _just_ wake up, Magnus Bane?" 

Magnus sat on the stool of his kitchen island. "I was at Pandemonium last night." 

"Aah." She tied back her long, pale hair and started the coffee pot. "You don't usually go on weekdays." 

"No." He smiled, suddenly excited. He hadn't told Catarina about Alec yet.

"But I had specific plans last night." 

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow, putting the chicken on the stove.

"Mhm. I met someone." 

Catarina was turned away from Magnus, but there was tension in her shoulders. She continued to stir the chicken around, adding oil. 

"Did you now?" She finally said.

"Yes." Magnus smiled at the his hands, thinking about the way Alec's hands felt in them.

Catarina nodded, then turned to Magnus. She had a patient smile on her face, but her eyes were serious.

"Do you really think now is a time to be dating, Magnus?"

Magnus looked up, his smile gone.  "What?"

She leaned against the island. "Do you really think now is a time for you to be dating? I don't. You have had so many clients this week alone, and you have a club to take care of." She shook her head and moved the chicken around more, some white strands escaping her bun.

Magnus was shocked. "I thought you would be happy for me, Catarina. I haven't been in a relationship with anyone in a while." 

"Oh, so you're considering a relationship with this person? A serious one?" Catarina shook her head. "I don't think it's a good idea." 

"Why not?"

"I already told you why."

"But you haven't even met him!" 

"Oh, so it's a him. Well, what is his name then?" She was pouring coffee into mug, her shoulders still tense. 

Magnus crossed his arms. "His name is Alec."

Catarina stopped pouring. She straightened her back, turning even farther away from Magnus. 

"Oh. Is he a mundane?" Her voice was tight.

"No. He's a Shadowhunter of the New York Institute." Magnus moved his body, trying to see her face. 

"A Shadowhunter. Of the New York Institute." She repeated. 

"Yes." 

She turned suddenly, her eyes like arrows piercing into Magnus. She was searching his face, his eyes. 

"You speak of Maryse and Robert's child, then? Alexander Gideon Lightwood?" 

Magnus felt electricity coursing through his body. His hands felt hot, and his head felt heavy. _Alexander Gideon Lightwood?_

_Lightwood?_

"Oh— oh is that his entire name? Strange, I didn't– I never really liked Lightwoo-" 

His mouth wasn't working. What was he trying to say? That he never really liked Lightwoods? He struggled to think back on why he felt that way. Green eyes flashed across his mind. 

_Gideon_

His middle name was Gideon. That made sense, yes it did. He was named after his ancestor, his great great-

"Magnus!" Catarina's face was in front of his. She was smiling kindly at him; she had a chicken sandwich on a plate in her hands, and was putting it in front of him.

"Forget what I said. I'm so happy for you Magnus; this is good for you. Here, eat your lunch. I know you're hungry." 

She stood in front of Magnus until he picked up the sandwich. She turned and poured some more coffee into another mug. 

Magnus felt strange and oddly...coddled. He thought about the food and the coffee and Catarina's frequent visits. He thought she was lonely, but perhaps...

He bit into his sandwich. He tasted the salsa and cheese with the chicken; it was very delicious.

"Thank you, Catarina. For the lunch. You're a very good friend." 

She looked at him and smiled. "You're welcome." Her expression was still kind; the kind face of a healer.

He took another thoughtful bite. 

"Catarina?" He said, his mouth partly full.

"Yes?"

He swallowed his bite. "Is there...is there something wrong with me?" 

"Hmmm. Why would you say that?" Her voice was kind, always so kind.

"I don't think I've been myself lately."

"Well, that's to be expected. People usually start to act differently when they meet someone new."

Magnus hesitated. "Yes, but-" 

She hushed him. She took a mug off of the counter and gave it to Magnus.

"Here. Have your coffee."

Magnus took it, inhaling the aroma. It smelled very sweet, the usual bitterness not there. He took a sip; it tasted very sweet too.

He felt the warmth travel down his body, stopping at his stomach. The sweetness and heat calmed him. He was feeling more himself.

Catarina made excellent coffee. 

 

 

Magnus sat at his desk that was piled with spell books. 

He had gotten dressed after Catarina left to handle her own business. He wore cerulean pants and a silver tank top that matched his silver nails well; he enjoyed watching his fingers flip the pages, because the silver would reflect the light of the lamp he kept on his desk.

The spells he was studying were as interesting as spells could be; this was a new spell book he had acquired from a shifty warlock who Magnus suspected was younger than he was telling people.

But who was Magnus to judge? He himself was never very honest with his age.

Magnus turned another page, watching his nails flicker; then his phone rang.

He looked at the screen, not very interested in who it was - that was until he saw _who it was_.

Magnus nearly jumped out of his seat. He shut the spell book without even marking his page and answered the phone. 

"Hello." He tried for a seductive tone. 

"Hey, Magnus." Alec's deep voice spoke into his ear, and he was feeling embarrassingly giddy.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Magnus sat back in his seat, smiling to no one in particular.

"Well, I did say I would call you." 

"That you did." 

Magnus heard a smile in Alec's voice. "I'm making my way to Central Park. I was...hoping you would accompany me." 

"Well, this is last minute. Let me check my schedule."

Magnus waited ten seconds.

"Looks like I'm clear! I would love to accompany you, Alec." 

"Great. I'll see you soon, then?"

"That you will." Magnus then heard the dial tone, signaling that Alec had hung up. 

Magnus - after thanking the angels above - ran to the mirror on his burgundy wall. He summoned eyeliner and re-coated his eyes. His hair was streaked blue like his pants.

He grabbed a black trench coat from his closet and put it on. Central Park was a long walk from Brooklyn, and a thirty minute drive.

Magnus decided to cheat and create a portal. 

When Magnus arrived, hidden from mundane sight behind a tree, he walked for a good five minutes before he saw Alec.

He was seated on a bench, his hair looking tousled from the light breeze. He wore - to Magnus's great surprise - a completely black ensemble. Today, it was a black trench coat that looked similar to Magnus's.

When Magnus sat on the bench, he saw that Alec held two foam cups in his hands. 

Alec offered Magnus a smile. He held out one foam cup, which Magnus took.

"What is it?" Magnus asked, bringing it to his lips.

"Hot chocolate." Alec answered, but then he looked apologetic. 

"It's not very hot anymore, though."

"Oh, that's quite alright." Magnus grinned and held his hand out. "Here, let me see yours."

Alec raised an eyebrow but handed it over without a word.

Magnus took off both lids and handed them to Alec. Then, with the cups close to his mouth, he blew on both of them.

Blue flames came out of his mouth and rested over the top of the cups; Magnus made sure not to melt the foam before he was done.

He handed Alec his cup back with a very accomplished grin. 

Alec gave him the smile he was looking for. It was the one that touched his eyes and pulled at Magnus's heart.

"You're not afraid of being seen?" Alec asked, sipping his re-heated cocoa.

"Oh no, not here. People are much too busy looking at couples like the one over there to notice me." Magnus wiggled his eyebrows before nodding his head in the direction of the couple he was referring to. 

Alec looked and saw a couple a few benches away in a very heated make-out session. He looked away quickly, staring at Magnus with wide eyes.

Then he shook his head. "Straight people." He muttered before sipping his hot cocoa.

Magnus let out a booming laugh. His head was thrown back and he couldn't breathe, he was laughing so hard.

When he had sobered up, he saw that Alec was looking at him with the most charming expression. He was appraising Magnus, and Magnus was happy to be so obviously appraised.

He couldn't help but be charmed himself.

"You're very beautiful." Magnus said.

"Beautiful?" Alec's eyes were looking over Magnus's face; they were terribly gentle. 

"Do you prefer handsome?"

Alec looked down and took another sip of his cocoa. His eyes traveled up to the sky and he gave the gods what Magnus could only describe as a sigh of defeat. 

Alec finally looked back at Magnus.

"I think you're beautiful, too." His voice was deep and his eyes were sincere. Magnus was smiling so hard he couldn't feel his face.

"Truly?"

Alec nodded.

"Beautiful enough to be taken to dinner?"

Alec gave a light chuckle. "Are you asking yourself out for me?" 

Magnus was loving their banter, but he didn't want to push. "I'm only teasing, of course." 

Alec was shaking his head, but he was still smiling. Magnus didn't think he had seen him smile so much in their time together – not that he was complaining.

"Magnus?" Alec's voice was soft.

"Yes?" Magnus was dazzled.

"Will you go on a date with me?" 

Magnus gave him a terribly beautiful grin; Magnus didn't know it, but it was a grin that broke Alec's heart.

"I thought you would never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so much! You have no idea how happy your comments make me. Let me know how y'all felt about this chapter.
> 
> Oh, and if any of you have twitters, tweet me! We can be Twitter friends, just let me know you're from here. @baniverse is my handle.


	6. Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a talk with his sister, and then someone visits him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First scene takes place before Central Park scene, and second scene takes place after Central Park scene. 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

Alec was in the training room, hitting the punching bag brutally, trying not to think about a warlock with cat eyes.

If Alec thought about him, then he would think about the night of the abandoned warehouse. If he thought about that night, he would think about what happened after and what was happening now.

So he interrupted every thought with a punch, pushing away his impending doom.

"Alec." Izzy's voice was behind him, but he ignored it. He was starting to feel the sting in his hands, the soreness in his muscles. If he stopped, he would think, and he didn't want to think.

"Alec!" Izzy stood in front of the punching bag. Alec brought his hands back, laying them on top of his head.

"What do you want, Isabelle?" He said her entire name like he did when he was angry.

Her hair was pinned up, and her eyes were careful. She looked at him like he was broken, and he didn't want to be reminded on why he was.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm training, but you're in my way." His eyes had narrowed.

"No, Alec. That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. What are you doing with  _him_?"

So Jace told her. Of course he did. Alec felt needles piercing through his heart.

"I'm- I don't know, okay? I really don't."

"You were at Pandemonium with him last night."

"I know." As if he needed to be reminded; he could still feel Magnus all over his body.

"Did he-"

"No! Okay no, he didn't remember. He didn't start to- to freak out. He was fine, Izzy. Just like the first night in Pandemonium, he was fine."

Izzy was shaking her head now. Her eyes were sad and pitying; Alec couldn't stand to look at them.

"He wasn't fine, Alec. When he saw Clary-"

"But not with me! He didn't do that when he was with me." Alec didn't know what he was trying to prove; that he could still be with Magnus, and it would be okay? And who was he trying to convince; himself or Izzy?

She shook her head. "If this doesn't work out, you'll get hurt."

Alec sighed and turned away from her, letting his arms fall.

"If you're with him for too long..."

He started to rub his face. "I know. I was careful; I left early."

She appeared in front of him. Her eyes were gentle and sorry, always so sorry.

Her hand was on his cheek; she gave him a sweet smile. "If you need my help, just tell me. Okay?"

He nodded, grateful she was letting it go for now.

She pulled her hand away. "I came here to tell you that you have a visitor."

Alec drew his eyebrows together in confusion. Izzy gestured to the outer hall.

He grabbed a hoodie on his way out, pulling it on over his naked chest. When he saw the person standing there, leaning against the rune ridden wall, he knew he was in trouble.

Catarina tilted her head up and stared at him with eyes that pierced like daggers. Her smile was anything but kind.

"Alec. We need to talk."

Alec looked around and then got closer. His hand fiddled with his zipper.

"About what?"

"About Magnus." His chest felt compressed when she said his name.

Alec nodded, feeling dread pool in his stomach. "You know."

"I do." Her hair was fanned around her face, slightly frizzed on the top. He saw sparks of electricity flicker where her hand touched her arm.

She rose from the wall, getting even closer to him.

"I told you he wasn't ready; I told you to wait." She wasn't smiling anymore.

"I know, Catarina. But I saw him a couple nights ago in Pandemonium; he didn't freak out. He was fine. It wasn't like -" His voice began to break when he got closer to the subject. "- like it was when he woke up. And then last night-"

"Last night shouldn't have happened." Catarina said. "Anything can trigger it, Alec. What if you said something? What if you stayed there too long?"

"But I didn't! I left, and I was careful." Alec's voice had turned pleading.

Catarina shook her head. "How careful should you be? Do you even know?"

Alec didn't know what to say.

She started to pace the hall. Her fists were clenched, and her head was held low.

She began to speak in a low tone. "I promised you I would fix him. I can't do that if you're interfering."

Alec closed his eyes, and guilt slowly filled his chest. He was an idiot. Catarina was right; she promised to help Magnus, because Magnus was her friend. All she had asked of Alec was time. He shouldn't have given in to Magnus so easily; he knew better. When had he become so reckless?

It was recklessness that made Magnus this way.

"Problem is..." She continued, but this time she could barely speak. "...I don't know if I can fix him in time."

Alec opened his eyes. Catarina was looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"He'll make progress and get better; but by the time he's ready to remember, he'll hate me." One tear fell down her blue cheek. "Because you'll be dead."

Alec was speechless; his chest tightened as the realization of what she was saying hit him. Magnus wouldn't be the Magnus he once knew in his lifetime; not at the rate he was going.

Catarina had closed her eyes; the hand she had raised to her face was shaking. She nodded once has if to solidify her words.

"Be with him, Alec."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. When I said wait, I thought you two would have time, but you won't. So be with him." She inhaled a deep breath.

"I've been giving him something to keep him settled. When you plan on spending long periods of time with him, see me first so I can give it to you. When he starts to show signs of an episode, give it to him."

Alec's heart was beating quickly. "What is it?"

"A potion. I would give you a supply, but we can't risk him finding it with you. I've been putting it in his drinks. It tastes like sugar to him."

Alec nodded his understanding, and then he walked forward. He took Catarina's hand, holding it in both of his. She looked at him.

"Thank you, Catarina." His words rang with sincerity.

She gave him her kind smile, but there was something fearful in her eyes.

"Don't thank me yet." She gave a tired sigh. "Magnus is waiting for you to call him. You shouldn't keep him waiting."

She turned towards the exit. She took graceful steps, her skirt billowing out behind her.

When she turned back, her skin was glamoured to a dark skin tone, and her hair was now black.

She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to, because he understood.

_Be careful._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus sat in his living room, mixing ingredients in a small cauldron. The mixture he had created was a bit of a mauve color, and it started to glow when he added the mandrake root.

"Is that a love potion?" Catarina had just walked in, taking a seat across from Magnus with two mugs in her hand. Her eyes acted serious but her smile was teasing.

Magnus scoffed, offended. "I don't need a love potion to win Alec's affection. He asked  _me_  to dinner, remember?"

"Oh, I remember. You won't let me forget." She handed him a mug and he took it.

He looked into the mug and saw that it was tea; he took a sip, noting it's sweetness. Catarina's teas were always so sugary, and Magnus enjoyed them very much.

"What do you put in the tea, Catarina?"

She smiled. "Honey."

He nodded, taking another drink. It calmed his stomach. He would have to start adding honey when he made tea. He continued to stir the potion.

"Thank you for the tea, Catarina. It's very calming. Alec will be here soon."

She scoffed. "Soon?"

"Well, he'll be here in six hours." He continued as she started to laugh. "But I have to start getting ready in two."

"Well, I hope you have a marvelous time, Magnus."

"Oh, I will." He grinned, thinking of how Alec had seemed so happy when Magnus had said yes.

Catarina rose from her chair and grabbed her coat.

"You're leaving?" Magnus asked, not looking up. He was beginning to pour the potion in a separate container.

"Yes, I have a friend I must go see." She went to him and kissed the top of his head; her hair tickled his cheeks.

When she left, Magnus had nearly finished pouring the potion. When he was done, he finished the rest of his tea.

And he felt calm as he always did, the honey making its effect on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love all the comments you guys are leaving! They're all precious. Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter.
> 
> Story time: when I was pasting this chapter in, I almost deleted the whole thing on the app I use to write these chapters. Gave me a heart attack.


	7. Red Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec go on their "first" date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

Magnus sat on his chenille, purple throne with set shoulders, head held high and a quick beating heart. Alec would be at his door in fifteen minutes. He had texted Magnus to let him know that the attire was formal - so Magnus wore a burgundy jacket with matching hair streaks and garnet accents on his cuff. 

Magnus looked wonderful, but he felt like a mess. What was wrong with him? He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He rose from the armchair and started pacing. He felt awake and tired, cold and hot. 

But what was he worried about? He was about to spend a night with a handsome, kind young man with beautiful eyes who seemed to like Magnus. 

His steps led him to the kitchen where water had been boiling. He grabbed a mug and poured the water into it, adding a tea bag. 

After a minute or two of letting the tea set, he went to take a sip and then paused. He suddenly remembered what Catarina said, and went to grab a jar of honey from the counter.

Taking a sip from the now honeyed tea, Magnus was...disappointed. He smacked his lips and stared into his mug. It hadn't tasted quite the same as the tea Catarina made. The honey tasted like...well, honey. Magnus suddenly realized that when Catarina made the tea, it was tasted more like a fruity sweet, if that fruit had been super-saturated with sugar.

Obviously, he had made it wrong. He would have to ask her when she-

The door buzzer went off. 

 _Fuck_. He dropped his mug into the nearby sink and took a deep breath before straightening his posture. He walked to the door, stopped, then looked at the mirror near the door. His make up was minimal but present; black eyeliner with bits of red in his eye and lips.

_Get the door, Magnus._

He went to open the door. When he did, what he saw before him both dazzled him and left him breathless. 

He saw a young man that was both strong and elegant, dark in his black suit but bright in his eyes that shone at Magnus with an indescribable look of deep adoration. That look would have startled Magnus if he hadn't been admiring the sharp features on a face that had paled from a life spent inside or in the night. 

Alec was staring back, his eyes raking down Magnus's body. He caught himself halfway down and looked back up at his eyes. He offered Magnus a lopsided smile before holding up his hand; when Magnus looked, he saw a red rose.

"Oh, my." Magnus took the rose, backing up a bit and smiling before he held it up to his nose. His heart was still quick, but it had warmed a bit at the gesture.

"You're turning out to be quite the romantic." He twirled the rose between his fingers, admiring how it matched his nails. 

Alec's smile turned sheepish. "Well, I'm trying."

"Hmm." Magnus gave the rose one last twirl before flicking his wrist, summoning a skinny vase filled with water on the table next to his door. He placed the rose in the vase.

When he looked back at Alec, he had his hand out, offering it to Magnus. 

His heart had suddenly threatened to choke him. He stared at Alec's offered hand and he felt that something was wrong. The feeling had sunk into his stomach and his fingers began to twitch.

"Magnus?" Alec's voice was soft. When he looked up, Alec's eyes were clouded with worry. 

"I'm sorry." What was wrong with him? He was acting ridiculous. Alec was already shaking his head, however, somehow able to give Magnus his understanding. 

"It's alright." He smiled again, lips closed, one side tilted up. He took back his hand which momentarily saddened Magnus, but then he offered his arm instead.

Magnus took it this time, intertwining one arm and resting his hand on Alec's forearm. His side was now pressed to Alec's, and he could feel his warmth pressing against him. It was not unpleasant at all, and Magnus found himself rid of his previous worries. 

He closed the door just as Alec bent down to grab an umbrella he had rested on the side of Magnus's door. 

"Ready?" Alec asked, looking up at the water that was dripping onto the steps in front of them. 

Magnus nodded, looking up at him. Alec seemed much more comfortable, but Magnus was distracted by the feeling of this tame, couple-like contact.

Alec led him down the steps. When they reached the bottom, he opened the umbrella, shielding Magnus and himself. There was a cab waiting in the pouring rain.

Alec opened the door and then stepped aside, keeping the umbrella over Magnus. 

"What a gentleman." Magnus threw him a sly wink before getting into the cab, sliding over so that Alec could get in. 

Alec slid in right next to him, shaking the water off the umbrella.

"So where are you taking me?" Magnus asked, admiring Alec's hair. It still held a messy look, but it was obvious that he had tried to fix it up with some gel.

"You'll see." Alec said.

The cabdriver appeared through the protective glass, pulling back a solid divider.

"You said _Per Se_?" His New York accent rang true through his words.

Alec sighed and confirmed just as Magnus made an _ooo_  sound.

"Well, isn't that place a big deal. French cuisine! How did you know, Alexander?" Magnus's voice was velvety around his name.

Alec stiffened right when the cabdriver closed the solid divider. He turned his face towards Magnus, ending up less than an inch away. 

Magnus inhaled, smelling Alec's cologne. It was a very manly smell mixed with mint toothpaste that left Magnus dazed. His eyes were on Alec's, but Alec's eyes were on his lips. 

"What did you say?" Alec whispered, his minty breath washing over Magnus's face. He felt his eyes flutter before he whispered back.

"How did you know?" Alec's eyes were darker than before. His head was turned and his eyebrow was raised slightly.

Magnus continued. "...Alexander?" 

Alec closed his eyes. Shut off from their depths, Magnus's eyes moved to his lips. They still looked soft and were a pale pink that paired nicely with his pale skin. 

"Lucky guess." Alec's lips formed before sitting back, leaving the intensity that had been formed.

Magnus sat back too, aligning his shoulders with Alec's. He didn't look back at Magnus; instead he stared out the window, rubbing his hand over his chin. 

Magnus did, however, look. He studied Alec's features, taking note of every edge, every indentation, every soft spot.  Who was this young man that had mesmerized Magnus? Beyond the looks, the gestures – what exactly was it about Alexander that made his heart ache for him? 

They haven't even arrived to the destination of their first date; why did Magnus feel like he should have the answer now? 

Alec finally turned to look back at him. He must have noticed the way Magnus's eyes were searching, because he hesitated before speaking.

"We're here." 

Magnus nodded and Alec paid the cabdriver before sliding out of the cab. Magnus followed him, not surprised to see Alec waiting with the umbrella over the cab door. 

What Magnus saw made him smile widely; it wasn't his first time at  Per Se, but it had been a long time since he'd been there. The doors that led inside were big and a marvelous, midnight blue with gold accents. 

Alec opened the door for him; when he entered, Magnus shot another flirty wink at the gentleman. Alec's lips tightened with suppressed laughter.  

When they reached the hostess desk, they were greeted by a blonde with a bright and elegant smile. 

"Welcome to _Per Se_. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes." Alec answered, handing the umbrella to someone who had offered to take it. 

"What is the name?"

Alec shot a quick look at Magnus that he wouldn't have caught if he wasn't staring at the Shadowhunter. 

"Lightwood." He answered, smiling politely. 

Magnus felt a chill down his spine. Was the air conditioner on? 

"Ah, yes. Table for two. Right this way." Still smiling, she led them away from the hostess desk. 

Magnus took this time to admire the restaurant. It was as elegant as the people who wore suit jackets and ballroom-worthy dresses. The tables were covered in a milky tablecloth that billowed out. The room was illuminated in a golden light that made the wood look even richer. 

The table she led them to was in a nice area that over looked a lot of the other tables and was secluded enough to allow them some privacy. 

The hostess left them and they sat. Magnus liked how his burgundy suit went well with Alec's dark suit. 

Then again, everything went with black. Magnus would never have to worry about his own outfit if Alec insisted on wearing black all the time. 

There were already menus on their table. Alec sat across Magnus and was looking at him.

"They have two tasting menus. You can pick either one." Alec said, playing with the end of his sleeve. 

They ended up agreeing on the chef's tasting menu, which was a nine course meal. It was rather extravagant, and Magnus wondered what was making Alec go all out like this. He wasn't sure if that was a question he could ask at the moment. 

When they were asked about their wine selection, Alec looked at Magnus with a knowing look. 

"I don't really know much about wines." He confessed.

This excited Magnus. He took the wine list that was offered, looking it over. 

"Do you like red?" Magnus asked. 

Alec nodded, looking as though he was suppressing another laugh at Magnus's excitement. 

He turned to the waiter with a wide smile. "Spanish Red, please." 

"Excellent choice, sir." The waiter took the wine list. "Your first course will be here momentarily." 

When he left, Magnus turned back to Alec with an even wider smile. 

"This place is pretty impressive. It's a Michelin Three Star."

Alec's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "That's what Izzy said. I'm still not sure what it means." 

Magnus gave a light chuckle at that. "Izzy. Is she the girl I saw at Pandemonium? She looked just like you."

Alec nodded. "She's my sister." 

The waiter returned with their wine and first course. It was two small bowls filled with yellow soup and two oysters with caviar on the side. _Oyster and Pearls_ , the waiter had called it. 

"Are you close?"

Alec was distracted, trying to figure out which spoon he was supposed to use. 

Magnus smiled at his confusion and grabbed the correct spoon from his set. He used it to tap the spoon Alec was supposed to use. 

Alec smiled gratefully and grabbed the spoon. It seemed he had suddenly realized what Magnus said. 

"Izzy and I? Yes, we're close." 

Magnus nodded, lifting the red wine to his lips. He took a sip and watched Alec do the same. 

"Is she your only sibling?" 

Alec shook his head. He hesitated before speaking. "I have a little brother named Max. Jace, my parabatai- he's my adoptive brother." 

Magnus nodded, remembering the blond boy. He wondered if Max looked like Alec – he must be adorable, if so. Magnus's heart warmed at the idea of a smaller version of the young man that sat across from him now. 

The waiter came back with their second course. It looked like a little salad with plums. Alec watched him grab the right utensil before grabbing his own.

Alec put a piece of plum in his mouth, and then made a noise that sent heat down Magnus's body. 

"What kind of plums are these?" Alec asked, taking another piece. 

"Santa Rosa, I believe. Better than the common plum. They're from California." Magnus ate one himself, enjoying it's rich flavor. 

They went through their next two courses. Alec told Magnus whatever he asked; about his siblings, being a Shadowhunter. It occurred to him that Alec was a young man who was very protective of his loved ones and his values. He saw it in the way he spoke of them and his duties. His eyes didn't seem to hide much, which struck Magnus as strange. Shadowhunters usually had a shield of either arrogance or indifference. 

Alec was without a sense of self-importance. He was a soldier who saw to other's needs and who protected those he loved with his life.

Magnus wasn't sure how he knew that last part for sure. He simply did, and with all his heart.

Alec was selfless.

Magnus looked down at the table and felt his hands form fists. He didn't have to look under the table to know that small blue flames rested in his palms. He felt tired suddenly, as if all of his energy sat in his hands. 

He inhaled deeply and then looked up. 

"If you'll excuse me; I'll be in the restroom." He rose as gracefully as he could as to not appear distressed. Alec watched him, and Magnus could feel his eyes on him all the way there.

***

Alec watched him walk away, pretending not to notice the way his fist was clenched. He thought he saw a spark of blue illuminate in those rings, but Magnus was gone before he could know for sure.

Throughout dinner, Alec noticed how Magnus had slowly started to show signs of stress in his shoulders, his gestures. Much of the conversation was about Alec, and that unnerved him deeply. He wasn't sure what he could or couldn't say, what would trigger him. 

So Alec asked Magnus questions about everything; he remembered doing that before not to distract Magnus, but because it pleased him to hear Magnus talk about anything and everything. He always seemed to know where things came from and why, and spoke in a pleasant voice that was wise but not patronizing, glad to be asked and to give answers. Some answers would come with stories, and some of those stories would come with sparks of laughter and short, sweet kisses that had left him light-headed.

Alec wondered when he would get those moments back. 

 _In time,_ he reminded himself. He would do his best to get them both back to where they were before, and he would make sure every moment until then was as close to perfect as they could be. 

That's why he had to do this. He shouldn't feel bad; Catarina had been doing this for over a month. It was for Magnus's own good.

He took the small vial filled bright, yellow liquid out of his pocket hidden inside his jacket. It looked like sunshine in a bottle. Making sure no one was looking, he grabbed Magnus's wine cup and dumped the liquid in it, watching it dissolve and turn into a bright red before changing back to its normal hue. 

Trying to ignore the guilt that had settled in stomach, he took a sip of his own wine. It barely relaxed him, and he watched as the waiter came back with their next course. 

It looked like an assortment of strangely colored vegetables with those baby onions that Alec had always really liked for some reason. 

Magnus reappeared when the waiter left. Seeing him made Alec's heart do flips. He was all dressed up in the way Alec knew Magnus liked, with his streaked hair, rings and a dark red suit that fit him perfectly. Alec had noticed how the ends of his sleeves were bedazzled with red gems; Magnus couldn't resist adding a bit of himself to everything he wore. 

Alec noticed there was still a bit of distress in his eyes. Magnus gave him a tight smile and looked down at his plate, grabbing the proper fork. 

Alec followed suit, keeping his eyes on the warlock in front of him.

"So why are you upset with Jace?" Magnus asked suddenly.

Alec choked on the purple artichoke he had just put in his mouth. 

"What?" He managed to cough out before taking a long gulp of water he had set aside. 

Magnus, who had his hand raised as if to try and pat Alec's back, hesitated. 

"I asked why were you upset with Jace. He mentioned you were when I saw him that night." 

Alec knew the answer; he wasn't about to tell him, though. Why did Jace even say anything about it at all? When he thought about it, it angered him and reminded him why he had to practically drug Magnus.

But when he looked at Magnus and saw the brown eyes of his glamour stare deeply into his, his resolve slightly crumbled and he felt his love for the warlock threaten to make its appearance.

"He's reckless." Was all he said before taking a sip of red wine, praying Magnus would do the same. 

The angels must have heard him, because Magnus did pick up his glass and drink the drugged wine. 

Alec watched as his eyes gazed for a moment and his expression turned dazed. 

Then Magnus looked at him with a relaxed smile. "But you aren't, are you?"

"What?"

"Reckless." He twirled the wine slightly in the glass before taking another drink. 

Alec shook his head. 

"Hmm." Magnus laughed loudly and his eyes brightened to look like milk chocolate. 

His mood had improved and he talked non-stop for the rest of dinner. Alec listened happily and felt intoxicated on Magnus. This was what he had been missing for so long, and it wasn't something he wanted to lose again.

 

Alec held the cab door open, waiting for Magnus to come out. When he did his smile was coy and his wink made Alec's heart flutter. 

"Are you going to walk me to my door, too?" 

Alec felt his cheeks burn. "That was the plan." 

Magnus nodded approvingly. "Very gentleman-like." 

When they had made it up the steps, Magnus turned to him, backing up a bit so that they were closer to the door. There was mischief in his eyes. 

"Is it going to be my turn on our second date?" 

Alec stepped a little closer, affected by Magnus's mood. "Your turn to what?"

"To be the gentleman." Magnus turned his head and Alec saw his eyes travel down. 

Alec felt heat where his eyes touched. Magnus was leaning against his door, not seeming to have any intention to enter just yet. When he looked back up, his glamour was gone. Alec saw the green-golden, slitted eyes that he hadn't seen in so long. 

Magnus lifted a finger; Alec watched his finger move, beckoning him to come closer. 

He couldn't have stayed where he was even if he wanted to. His feet drew him closer to Magnus until he was within an arm's length away. 

Magnus gave him a smile that was seductive and full of promises. He held out both of his hands and placed them on the lapels on Alec's jacket.

"That's not close enough." He whispered before pulling Alec in so that their lips were only a centimeter away. 

Alec placed both of his hands on the door on either side of Magnus, not trusting them at all. His senses had heightened and all he could see and smell was Magnus. He had missed this overwhelming feeling. 

He was sure that if Magnus looked at his eyes, he would have seen the love that Alec had worked so hard to hide all night; but he was looking at his lips, want apparent in his eyes.

Magnus's lips had finally touched his, setting his entire body on fire. It didn't matter that this wasn't their first kiss like Magnus thought it was; it felt like it. 

Magnus's lips moved with practice, and Alec matched every movement with familiarity. He tasted like red wine and chocolate, and Alec pressed his tongue against his mouth, asking for entrance. When Magnus granted it, Alec swiped his tongue across his top teeth like he knew Magnus loved. 

Magnus sighed and moved his hand up into Alec's hair. When Alec did it again, he pulled the strands, making him groan into the other man's mouth. Desire was clouding his mind and all he could feel was Magnus.

By the Angel, how he had missed this.

Magnus pulled back, giving him on last peck on his lips. His smile was delighted and practically intoxicated.

"I had a really good time, by the way, if I hadn't already made that apparent." 

Alec's smile felt lopsided on his face. "I think I got the message." 

Magnus drew his arms around his neck and put his lips at Alec's ear.

"We should do that again sometime." His whisper was dripping with desire and Alec felt heat travel down to his groin.

He wasn't sure if he meant the date or the kissing. It didn't matter, because the answer was the same for both. 

Alec nodded, feeling Magnus's lips brush against his ear. They stayed like that a while, enjoying each other's presence before Alec had to leave. 

His grin hadn't left him the entire way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been a while (11 days?) , but life gets in the way. I've always been pretty quick with my chapters. I hope this chapter is worth the wait though. Let me know what you guys think! And don't forget, I love reading your comments.


	8. Sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days after Magnus and Alec's date. One spent with Catarina, one spent with Alec. A certain feline makes an appearance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

Magnus was lounging on his sofa, his arms behind his head and his legs hanging off the side. He had just woken up from a very lovely dream about a particular Shadowhunter, and he couldn't bring himself to do anything else but lay there and think about said Shadowhunter.

The smile on his face was starting to hurt, but he didn't care. The sun was streaming through his window, and he felt one with the rays that beamed onto his floor. He was the bright yellow that spoke of joy and contentment. He wanted to say he had achieved this sense of peace all on his own, but he hadn't. 

It was Alexander who had helped him achieve it.

He lifted one finger in the air, a gold ring glimmering. He traced mindlessly into the air, actual lines that looked like they were taken from the sun appearing where his finger touched. 

When he was done, he look at what he had created; it was Alexander's name within a golden heart. He should have been absolutely embarrassed with himself for acting so...young.

And yet, he didn't care.

He heard a giggle pass his lips before he felt her presence.

"Well, isn't that adorable!" 

Magnus quickly swiped his hand across the air, making the heart disappear. He sat up and almost clashed foreheads with Catarina. 

"Catarina! I didn't know you were coming." 

"What do you mean? It's lunchtime." In her hand she held two styrofoam bowls that looked like they were from a food cart. 

Magnus looked at the clock. "Ah, yes. You're right." He took one bowl from her. "Thank you, dear." 

Catarina had her hair pinned up messily, making white strands fly around her face when she turned away. She sat down on the sofa across from him, bringing the bowl to her lips.

"So how was it?" Her voice was light.

"Oh, Catarina." Magnus gave a huge sigh, another ear-splitting grin coming across his face. "It was wonderful." 

"Oh?" She gave him a tiny smile, a knowing look in her eyes.

He went on to tell her all about his date last night; Alec, the rose, the cab ride, Alec, the food, the wine, Alec, the kiss, the dream...

"Oh, I certainly don't need to hear the rest of this." Catarina said right when Magnus got to the more intimate part of his dream.

"Well, then," he took a sip from his bowl; it tasted like some sort of broth," it was a very good dream, is all I will say."

Catarina sat her bowl down on the glass table. She looked up at him, and her smile was kind and her eyes were genuine. 

"I'm glad you had a good time, Magnus. You deserve this." 

Magnus was suddenly grateful that Catarina felt this way and seemed to mean it. "Thank you, Catarina. That means a lot, really." 

She nodded, picking up her bowl. 

"Now..." She got up and tilted her head.

"How about some tea?" 

 

It was the day after Catarina's visit and Magnus was in his hallway closet, sorting through a variety of ingredients. He had neglected organizing it for too long, and he was much too weary of the effect some of these ingredients would have if accidentally mixed together to try and use his magic to sort it. 

He was on the second row when his phone buzzed. It was a message from Alec.

_Hey_.

Magnus's heart quickened. Closet forgotten, he turned away from it and typed his reply. 

_Hello, Alexander ;)_

_What are you doing?_

_I was organizing my closet just a moment ago. Now I'm talking to a cute boy._

_Oh yeah?_

_Yes. A very cute boy._

_I think I'm jealous._

_As you should be. He's an excellent kisser. ;)_

_Is he now?_

_Yes. And maybe if he's free right now, he can come over to my place for a drink._

_I think he's putting on his shoes and making his way over there right now._

Magnus's smile was hurting his cheeks again. He was going to have learn to get used to it as long as Alec stayed in his life. 

_Good._

 

When Alec arrived to his loft, Magnus was dressed in his cerulean silk shirt that was slightly open on the front. He tried to look as homely as possible, so he also wore comfy black pants that would still let him show off if he wanted to. 

Magnus opened his door with his welcoming smile. 

"Hello, Alexander." 

Alec wore - _gasp_ \- a black shirt and leather pants. Although the pants looked a little tight on the front, so Magnus could only imagine what they looked like from the back. 

Alec gave him a light smile. He was scratching the back of his head in a cute, nervous gesture. "Hey, Magnus." 

He stepped back and gestured for Alec to come in. He did, but Magnus noticed he didn't really bother looking around the place.

"So what do you think?" Magnus asked, closing the door. Alec's behind did indeed look nice in those pants.

"Hmm? Of what?" He turned back to Magnus.

"Of my loft." It was dressed with a black leather couch, different colored armchairs, dark styled brick and lots of shimmering glass in the tables. Magnus might redecorate soon, but he would have expected Alec to address its unique style.

"Oh!" Alec looked around, taking it all in. "Yeah, it uh- well I don't really know much about- I'm not-" he started scratching the back of his head again. 

"It looks nice." He finished. 

It occurred to Magnus that perhaps Alec didn't really have a sense of home decor the same way he didn't have a sense of fashion. 

"...well, thank you! Why don't you go sit down and I'll make us some drinks?" Magnus gave him a dazzling smile and gestured towards the living area before heading to the bar. 

Alec did as he said, sitting down on the leather couch. He watched as Magnus messed around the bar, wondering what to make.

He pulled a bottle of alcohol out of the bar cabinet. He already knew Alec liked vodka.

"Do you like lemon?" He called out from the bar.

"Hmm?" Alec sounded as though he had been distracted. "Oh, yeah I like lemon." 

Magnus smiled, then went about creating the concoction. When he was done, he came to the leather couch and sat down about a foot away from Alec, holding two martinis in his hand. 

Alec took the martini that was offered and gave it a strange look. 

"Lemon Drop?" He asked, his voice quiet. He wasn't smiling, and he was holding the drink like it was poison. It was mostly lemon, and it had sugar around the rim. Magnus was suddenly worried that he had misjudged Alec's tastes, despite confirming that he liked lemon.

"Do you want something else?" He put down his martini and got up, about to go back to the bar.

"No!" Alec put his hand on his arm, making him sit back down."No, I like Lemon Drop." 

"Are you sure? Because I can-"

"Yes, I'm sure." Alec gave him a smile and picked up Magnus's martini from the table, giving it to him. 

He looked at Alec, still unsure, but he took the martini nonetheless. He brought it to his own lips and watched Alec do the same. He seemed to be enjoying it, so Magnus decided to stop worrying about it.

"So, Alexander." He was tempted to move a little closer, so he did. "What have you been up to since I've last seen you?"

Alec had both of his hands around his drink. He thought for a moment.

"Training. Hunting demons."

"Aah." Magnus's smile was teasing."So the usual then?"

Alec returned the smile, and his eyes brightened a bit. "I don't do much else." 

His cat, Chairman Meow, decided it was time to make his entrance. The little tabby jumped onto the couch and snuggled immediately into Alec, purring loudly. 

Alec gained a very gentle smile on his face. He petted the cat like he was an old friend he hadn't seen in a while. 

"Oh, that's strange. Chairman Meow usually isn't so friendly with strangers." 

Alec looked back up at him. "Oh. Well, cats tend to like me." He shrugged. 

Alec picked The Chairman up, letting him snuggle into his chest. The cat was purring very loudly now; he stretched his tiny neck up to lick Alec's nose. 

He scrunched his nose and then laughed fondly.

Magnus watched the entire scene and thought he would die from the cuteness he just witnessed. His - what was Alec to him?

His _love interest_ was snuggling with his cat. 

Chairman Meow started to wiggle around and Alec set him down. He trotted away, leaving them with a meow.

"Well, wasn't that adorable." Magnus was going to ignore the fact that his own cat didn't even acknowledge him. 

Alec gave a light chuckle, and then turned back to him. Magnus noticed he had some sugar on his lips from the martini.

"You have some-" He gestured to his own lip, signaling that Alec had something there. 

Instead of raising his hand to wipe it off like Magnus had expected, his tongue poked out of his mouth and he licked the top of his lip. 

When he saw that, Magnus suddenly wasn't in the mood for drinking anymore. He watched Alec lick the side of his lip again and had to suppress a groan.

"Uh uh." He said when he saw Alec about to lick the other side of his lip. He paused and looked at Magnus, his cut eyebrow raised. 

Magnus set his martini down and scooter closer to him. Alec watched him, his eyes darkening when Magnus left barely a sliver of space between them. He took the martini out of his hand and set it down on the glass table. Magnus then leaned his face in, his smile turning mischievous. 

"You have to share." His voice was light, and he heard Alec draw his breath in before he let his lips touch.

Magnus's lips barely brushed; his tongue swiped across Alec's lip, taking away the sugar that was there. He lingered only for a second, taking in Alec's soapy scent before drawing back. 

"There." He said, leaning away; but Alec seemed to have other plans.

His hand moved away from the couch and grabbed onto Magnus's shirt, pulling him back where he was, less than a breath away. Magnus was almost shocked by his boldness. 

"Are you sure? There might be some left." Alec's voice was husky and his eyes were on his lips.

"Where? I don't see any." With every word their lips brushed, and Magnus almost gave in; but he was enjoying the little game they were playing. 

"I do. Right..." Alec leans in and presses his lips fully onto Magnus's. Magnus feels the electricity from it course through him, and he tastes the lemon from their martinis.

"Here." Alec whispers when he pulls away. He moves to Magnus's cheek, placing a kiss there. "And here." His lips travel down to his chin, leaving a hot trail wherever they touched. "Here." He said and then gave his chin a peck before going up his jaw, kissing and nipping the skin. 

"Here." He whispers right below Magnus's ear. He sucks on the skin there a little making Magnus gasp and then moan, letting his head fall back when Alec's mouth starts to travel down his neck. He puts his hands on Alec's shoulders, feeling slightly dazed and very aroused.

Alec's lips travel down to his pulse point; he sucks on that spot and Magnus feels as though he's gone to heaven and the pleasure travels down his body from that exact point. 

When Alec pulls away he whimpers and blinks, pulled out of the trance he was put in. 

Alec looks at him with the sexiest smile he's ever seen, one that was crooked and spoke of trouble.

"You little tease." Magnus plants both of his hands on Alec's chest and pushes him down on the couch, climbing on top of him. Alec's head touches the armrest and his eyes are wide, momentarily surprised by Magnus's actions.

Magnus presses his lips roughly against his; Alec's lips are frozen only for a second before he's responding to his kiss. Both of his hands move up to Magnus's hair and he pulls slightly, making him moan into Alec's mouth.

Kissing Alec is like a breath of fresh air after being trapped underwater for so long. He was addicted and he didn't want to stop. 

When Magnus moves down his neck, Alec gives him a breathless laugh.

"I'm the tease? You started it." Then, in his best imitation of Magnus's voice;

"You have to share." 

Magnus smiles into his neck at the terrible impression and bites Alec's neck in retaliation. He jumps and then moans before breathing out -

"I thought you said you didn't bite." 

Magnus kisses the spot he bit, still smiling. "I said I don't bite unless you want me to. Do you not want me to?"

Alec says nothing; Magnus bites the spot again and he gives a moan that send heat down to Magnus's groin. Alec slides his hand down his side and puts it on the sliver of skin that appeared after Magnus's shirt started to ride up.

He feels a light pinch in his side making him draw his face away from Alec's neck to look at his face. 

"Did you just pinch me?"

"No." Alec keeps a straight face, looking back at him with innocent eyes. Then Magnus feels the pinch again and Alec's face breaks into a playful smile. The little-

"You just did it again."

"Nope."

Magnus narrows his eyes and moves his hand away from the armrest, down to his side. Alec feels the pinch coming so he flinches his hips away from Magnus's fingers. When he does that, his hips go up and end up grinding right into Magnus. 

Alec's playful grin leaves and his eyes flutter; he stops breathing. Magnus's eyes meet his and he's not breathing either. Magnus sees something in his eyes that makes him feel weak; it was not just a look of want, but need.

A moment passes. Magnus draws his hands up from the couch to behind Alec's head on the armrest. Then he grinds his hips down into Alec's.

"Fuck." Alec's head falls back. When Magnus does it again, he uses the hand still in his hair to pull him down to his lips, kissing him hard. Alec pushes his hips up and Magnus thinks _yes, yes, yes-_

_Meow_.

They pull away from each other, their lips swollen and their breathing hard. They both look up at Chairman Meow who was perched on the back of the couch, looking down at them. 

His green and gold cat eyes are narrowed and Magnus narrows his own similar cat eyes back, not pleased with his cock-blocking feline friend. Alec scoffs at their stare down and presses his face against  Magnus's neck, seemingly embarrassed for getting caught by his cat. 

Magnus couldn't help but be amused at that bizarre thought so he laughs, feeling Alec also laughing against his neck. Happiness fills his chest as he embraces the moment, tangled up with Alec on the couch, his laugh tickling Magnus's neck. 

He was home. He was with Alec. He got some Lemon Drop kisses. 

Everything in that moment seemed absolutely perfect...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I'm starting to post snippets on my Twitter page! So if you want early snippets, go follow me @baniverse . 
> 
> Another fun fact: I love you guys! You leave the best comments. Literally makes my day reading them. 
> 
> Another another fun fact: I'd love to know what you guys thought of this chapter. So let me know in the comments! 
> 
> Last fun fact: Chapter Eight was supposed to be depressing...but I decided to write this instead, because there's no need to rush to THAT. Chapter Nine, though...well, I guess we will see.
> 
> ~Baniverse <3


	9. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace gives Alec a visit, and he experiences two different flashbacks from before and during the events of the abandoned warehouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

The next two weeks become the best they'd been in Alec's life since the abandoned warehouse. He spent a lot of those days with Magnus, who made his heart soar with every kiss and ache with every touch. His fingers, even in their most heated moments of hands in the hair and lips against the neck, were always careful on Alec. As if Magnus didn't want to push him too far; as if Magnus didn't already have all of him.

But then again, he didn't know that he did.

The hardest part of it all were the secrets – the 'honey' poured into Magnus's drinks; the things he had to pretend not to know; the kisses Alec gave that were much too gentle and threatened to give him away much too soon. 

Alec sat on his bed, freshly showered and ready to sleep; he didn't sleep at all. Instead he sat there, hunched over and staring at a photo; it showed him and Magnus, the Brooklyn Bridge behind them.  

Magnus's right arm was around his waist and Alec's left was on his shoulder. Magnus had used his free hand to pull Alec's arm over his shoulder, so their hands were interlocked there, the contrast between their skin tones almost invisible in the pale lighting of night. Magnus's smile beamed brightly in the late evening, and Alec was laughing at the camera; Magnus had used magic to make it float in mid air and take the picture. It was so bizarre that he couldn't help it even when Magnus hushed him. 

Magnus had framed the photo in his loft; when he forgot who Alec was, he stoled it, silver frame and all. Now it spent it's time in the drawer of Alec's bedside table, a lost memory.

"Alec?"

He looked up at his door and saw Jace there, wearing his training clothes. His hair fell over his eyes that looked at him with an almost hopeful expression.

"What?" He asked, already knowing what Jace wanted.

"Want to go to the training room?" His voice was casual. Alec knew that ever since they had gotten him back from Valentine, Jace had trouble sleeping at night. So instead, he would go to the training room and spar with his parabatai until he grew exhausted enough to sleep without dreaming. 

Alec shook his head. "No. Sorry, I'm not in the mood for it right now." 

Jace nodded. Alec looked back down at the photo, tracing the lines of Magnus's face with his eyes. After a moment he realized Jace still hadn't left the room.

He looked back up and saw Jace with his hand on the door knob, knuckles white. He looked like he was struggling to say something; his mouth was opening and then closing, looking off into the far side of Alec's room. 

Finally he spoke, his voice low. "Are you ever going to forgive me?" His voice sounded tight as though he was forcing the words out. 

Alec let out a heavy sigh, dropping the photo on the bed next to him. He started to rub his face with both hands, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden.

"I don't want to talk about this, Jace." He turned his head slightly to the side to look at him through his fingers. 

He was looking back, his partly blue, partly brown eyes holding a sort of dark look in them. Alec saw it - _the guilt_. It was always there, ever since that day. 

  
_Alec was running through blue flames, jumping over and avoiding those that threatened to burn him. If he was thinking clearly, he would have put on a fire resistance rune - but he was angry  and frantic, searching for his parabatai in the rising fire._  

_"Jace!" He called out. He was no where to be seen, and Alec had already gone too deep. He wasn't sure if he could even find his way back out. He would have to try and then ask Magnus to extinguish some of the flames if he couldn't find Jace soon._

_But then he saw him, about twenty feet away. He could barely see his blond head over all the blue, but he did; relief flooded through him, and he moved closer._

_"Jace!" He called again, but Jace wasn't looking at him. He was looking off into the left of Alec, reaching for his weapons belt._

_Alec turned to where Jace was looking and felt horror shoot him right through the chest and travel everywhere; first his heart, down to his stomach, up to his head and then back down to his knees._

_There was Magnus illuminated by the light of the fire with a giant demon behind him, his entire hand covering the top of Magnus's head. Alec saw Magnus reach behind him with fire in his hand, but then the demon picked him up and slammed him against the ground._

_It happened so quickly; Magnus's head had already collided with the ground before Alec could even grab his bow. It happened again as he was drawing the bow back. His arrow collided with the demon's arm right as Jace's dagger did._

_Alec watched the demon evaporate, spreading ichor everywhere. Magnus collapsed to the ground, and Alec almost fell to his knees._

_He couldn't believe what was happening; he ran through the flames, not caring about the ones that licked at his exposed skin._

_When he was standing over Magnus, he finally let himself fall to his knees. What he saw caused pain to shoot through his heart like an arrow; Magnus's head was completely covered in blood._  

_The blood of a warlock was darker than that of a mundane, but lighter than demon ichor. The very dark red started to trickle down the sides of his face when Alec raised his head, laying it in his lap. His clothes were splattered with demon ichor, and his eyes stared at Alec's face but they were glazed; Alec thought he saw confusion and pain within the emerald and gold._

_"Magnus..." His voice broke. He wiped off the blood that was trickling to his eyes._

_Jace stood off to the side, staring at them with a mute horror. Both of his hands were raised as if to help, but he didn't know how._

_"What are you doing?!" Alec suddenly yelled, feeling his throat begin to burn. Jace looked up into his face and suddenly seemed terrified, realization showing as he looked into his parabatai's face._

_"Go get help! Go!" His intake of breath shook, and the burn in his throat didn't go away. Jace turned and ran in the other direction, disappearing in the flames._

_Alec looked back down at Magnus. His eyes were beginning to close, and blood was still spreading everywhere._

_"Magnus, it's going to be okay, just please..." He placed his hand on Magnus's head, trying to find out where exactly the blood was coming from. Everywhere he touched was coated with  it, making the effort hopeless._  

_Magnus's eyes closed._

_"No." Alec shook his head, putting his hand back on Magnus's face. What was happening? Why was this happening?_

_"Magnus, please. Please don't- I can't-" He couldn't speak. His body shook as he sobbed, his eyes blurring. What was happening?_

_He started to rock his body, making his arms tighter around Magnus. He placed his ear where Magnus's mouth was, trying to hear breathing. He could hear it, but it was too shallow. He put his hand on Magnus's chest, but his already naturally slow heart was even slower and almost undetectable._

_He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe._

_He was vaguely aware of someone shaking his shoulder, trying to get his attention._

_"Alec!" Izzy was in his front of him now; she placed her hands on his face, her eyes frantic._

_"Alec, I'm sorry, but we have to go." Her face was blurred out from his tears._

_He was shaking his head; he tightened his arms around Magnus, trying to pull his face away._

_She spoke quickly. "Clary called Simon. He's bringing his van. We have to get out of here."_

_Around the shape of his sister's face, he could see the flames rising. The will had left him, and all he wanted to do was stay there with Magnus in his arms; but she was right. They had to go._

_Carefully, he gathered Magnus in his arms. When he rose off the ground, he heard a painful moan break from Magnus's lips. Alec steadied his head on his shoulder, trying to keep it from moving and causing him more pain._

_Izzy led him out of the warehouse, stomping on small flames and clearing a path for him to carry Magnus through. The heat was choking him and drying the tears on his face, leaving nothing but salty residue._

_When they made it outside, he saw Clary waving her arms frantically, jumping up and down. A van pulled up, its tires screeching loudly from the brakes._

_She ran to the back and pulled the doors open. She held it open for him and he jumped in, gently laying Magnus down on the floor of the van._

_Soon they were all in the van; Simon was in the driver's seat, looking through a gym bag. When he looked back up, Alec could see his pale face against the darkness._

_Simon tossed him a t-shirt from the gym bag; Alec pressed it against Magnus's head, trying to stop the blood flow. There was blood all over him, and it was staining the floor of the van._

_Simon released the break and started driving._

_"Where to?" His voice only sounded a little panicked at the fact that there was a dying warlock in the back of his van, Shadowhunters covered in blood and ichor, and a warehouse on fire behind him._

_His question was directed to Clary, who sat in the passenger seat next to him; she turned to Alec, her face flushed and her eyes worried._

_"Institute." Izzy answered for him. He was grateful she did, because he couldn't quite find his voice at that moment. He focused on Magnus's face, trying to wipe the blood away from his eyes with a piece of the t-shirt._

_His hands were shaking. Izzy put her hands over his, steadying them. What were they gonna do when they got to the institute?_

_Taking one hand away, he started searching Magnus's pockets. Blood stuck to him everywhere he touched._

_He took out Magnus's phone, entering the passcode, covering the screen with blood._

_Blood. Blood. Blood._

_When he held the phone up to his ear, he saw Jace, sitting on the far side of the van watching him. In his hand was a long needle._

_"I hope that was worth it." He said it without thinking, his voice harsh. All he saw was shame on Jace's face._

_"Magnus?" The light, melodic voice spoke through the phone speaker._

_"Catarina." His voice was shaking, and he watched Izzy continue to press the t-shirt against Magnus's head. She was whispering thing in his ear, continuously checking his pulse. He wiped his face and ended up smearing even more blood where he touched._

_"It's Alec. We need your help. Magnus..."_

  
Jace was still looking at him, carrying the same shame on his face.

"I'm sorry." His voice was low, and his eyes were on the floor.

"I know." And he did. He knew that Jace had been desperate that night. He was the opposite of Alec; while he thought out his actions, Jace acted on instincts. He understood that, and yet...

"I need time." He sighed, and took his hands away from his face. "I just got Magnus back. I'm grateful, but I'm...I'm hiding so much from him. Not just the drugging-"

"Six months." Jace was looking at him. He understood Alec, just as much as Alec understood him. "You're hiding six months from him."

The words shook him right down to his core. Six months.

"Yeah." He took a deep breath. "I just..."

"No, Alec, I get it." His eyes were didn't hold their usual arrogance; they were sincere. "...but I'm here for you, okay?" 

When Jace left, he turned off the lamp and got under his sheets, putting the photo back in his drawer. He stared at the ceiling, seeing blotches of color in the darkness. 

_Alec gave a relaxed sigh, enjoying the feeling of fingers playing and pulling on his hair. His head was on Magnus's lap; the more the fingers played, the more relaxed he felt, putty under that hand._

_Magnus raised one blue tipped finger in the air; slowly he began to trace shapes, actual lines appearing in the air where his finger touched._

_A red boat. A blue bird. A purple star._

_Alec watched, amazed by his display of magic. Magnus looks down at him, a soft expression on his face. Slowly he began to trace a new shape, waving the other ones away._

_The lines he began to trace were the color of the sun that shone through the window. A golden heart appeared where his finger left, and then with a flourish he traced 'Alexander' within the heart._

_Alec felt a grin break across his face. He raises his hand to touch the heart; his finger went right through it, but he could feel the warmth radiating from it, like putting your hand under sunlight._

_Magnus started to trace the lines of his face. He shuts his eyes, feeling his fingers go over his eyelids, lips, cheeks..._

_"I love you." His voice is quiet and soft; Alec almost doesn't hear it. It was undeniably vulnerable. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Magnus's eyes were apprehensive, but love shown there as clear as day._

_He lifted his head, keeping his eyes locked on Magnus's. He turned his body to face him._

_Alec wasn't sure what to say. He felt his heart would burst after hearing Magnus's confession; he asked himself what that meant._

_And suddenly, he knew exactly what that meant._

_"I love you." They were the most sincere words he had ever spoken. He said it to himself as well as to Magnus, confessing his feeling to both of them._

_The apprehension left Magnus's eyes, and all that was left was happiness and love. Alec felt exhilarated, absolutely high off the love he saw in his eye, and the love he felt from within._

_When they kiss, it's a whole new feeling; the slow and passionate slide of their lips spoke of their promise of a forever that couldn't be touched by the inevitability of death._

_In their touches, they gave everything that they had, both angelic and magical._

Alec let only one tear travel down his face. It was one of his most precious memories, one that Magnus no longer shared. 

He would fight. He had to; or else he didn't deserve the man who had fought for him despite his pride. 

It was the most important battle of his life, and he would give it everything that he had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was totally supposed to be posted earlier, but I had such a bad couple of days. I had to go to the emergency room today. They cut my arm open and all I could think was "damn I gotta post chapter nine" XD. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter! I love reading your comments, and thank you to all who have reached out to me on Twitter! It's fun to talk to y'all there as well as on here. 
> 
> Love y'all! 
> 
> ~Baniverse <3


	10. Strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec have a lunch date. Catarina finds the start of what was inevitable from the very beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

_I'm not texting him_. Alec was breathing heavily, having just practically punched a hole through a punching bag. He talked and spent time with Magnus as much as he thought was appropriate for a "new relationship", but he always wanted more. 

 _I'm not calling him_. They had already talked last night. Then this morning. It was only an hour past noon. Maybe if he had a good reason – _hey, I was walking past this store and I saw a new glitter collection from that make-up line you like_ – he could get what he wanted. 

Do they even have glitter collections? Had Magnus mentioned he liked that make-up line before or after he lost his memory? What did Alec know about cosmetics? Not a damn thing. Maybe if he asked Izzy...

Or he could stop being an idiot and just text him. A simple "hey" wouldn't be desperate. They'd been seeing each other – in Magnus's head – for almost a month. Of course Alec could have just been thinking about him and it would be okay and natural. He was acting ridiculous. 

He took out his phone and opened his messages. 

 _Hey_. 

What the – what did he just do? They just talked two hours ago! By the angel, he ruined it. He's so–

 _Hello, darling. I'm glad you texted me. Can I call you?_  

Magnus wanted to call him. Of course he didn't care they had just talked two hours ago, this was _Magnus_. The same Magnus he fell for. He really was being ridiculous. 

 _Sure_.

Not a minute later, his phone began to rang. He stayed seated on the bench, staying away from the other Shadowhunters who were training. 

"Alexander!" Magnus's voice had a tone Alec recognized – the "I want something but I'm going to be casual about it" tone. It was the same one he used when he had called Alec – he still didn't know how Magnus had gotten his number – to ask him if he wanted to go out for drinks. 

"I wanted to ask if you would be free tomorrow." 

"That depends – at what time do I need to be free?"

"Lunchtime, I would say." Alec thought he had heard a little scuffling in the background, and an irritated _meow_. 

"I think I'm free for lunch – is that The Chairman? Is he okay?"

"Oh, he's fine – _shit_." Another _meow_ , except this time it was louder and angry. 

"My cat has been in a terrible mood ever since you came to my loft. I'm blaming you, Alexander." 

"Does that mean you're not taking me to lunch?"

There was a slight pause. "Well," Alec could hear the smile in his voice. "I can't be seeing someone who makes my cat attack me." 

"Maybe you forgot to feed him." Magnus had been known to do that. 

"Well, I've been known to do that." Magnus admitted. "In that case, I better go feed him. And then I'll be feeding you tomorrow at noon in Central Park?" 

"Central Park?"

"At the bench." Alec knew which one. 

"Sounds fun." He didn't realize he was smiling like a fool until Clary passed by and shot him a knowing look paired with wiggling eyebrows – Alec waved her away, ignoring her giggle. "I'll definitely be there."

"Excellent. All you have to bring is your handsome face." Alec scoffed while Magnus laughed and hung up. 

He let his head fall back against the wall behind him. He stayed there and thought of simpler things – Magnus painting his nails; Magnus mixing a potion; Magnus having a drink. They were all images that steadied him.

Ten minutes later, his phone buzzed again. It was Catarina. 

_Magnus told me you're meeting him for lunch tomorrow. Do you need honey?_

Alec sighed heavily and stared at the phone; he didn't like talking about the honey, no matter how much he needed it.

_No, it's just lunch. Did you give him some today?_

_I will. Okay, just let me know._

Alec got up and made his way back to the punching bag. He would train and not think about honey and lost memories. He would think about the smell of wet nail polish and his lunch date tomorrow instead. 

 

Alec was at the bench at 11:55 a.m. He sat there, fiddling with his scarf and the sleeves of his jacket and waited.

It was at 12:05 p.m. that he heard light footsteps behind him, striding sneakily closer. Two hands were covering his eyes, and a warm breath started to tickle his ear.

"Guess who." His voice whispered.

"Chris Pratt?" One hand left his face and slapped his shoulder.

"Ow! What? Oh it's you." Alec tried to stay serious but he couldn't stop his laugh when he saw Magnus's narrowed eyes.

"Is he your type?" 

"I'm more into fashionable warlocks, actually." Alec thought that maybe he could steal a kiss with his head turned like this and Magnus's face still close enough to whisper.

"That's good." Magnus said, moving away. He moved in front of the bench, swaying his hip slightly. "I took great care with my appearance today. Wouldn't you agree?" His voice was light and he held seduction at the tip of his tongue. 

With the sun at its highest point, the air in Central Park was mystical and cheery. The trees were greener than green, and the clouds looked like they were more than just tiny droplets of water. With Magnus standing there in the middle of it all, everything held a thin veil of the essence that made magic real. Alec couldn't tell you that Magnus was wearing bright regency blue Burberry trench coat; but he could tell you that Magnus had him enthralled with the promise of adventure that never left his eyes.

"I agree." Alec said.

Magnus gifted him with a smile, and then his hand. Alec took it and stood up; Magnus didn't let go.

"Come on." He led Alec off the sidewalk and into the grass. It wasn't until they entered the trees that he asked –

"Where are we going?"

"Not far. Really close, actually." With his head tilted up the way it was, Alec could see hints of indigo in his hair.

Focused on those blue strands, Alec hadn't noticed when they entered the clearing. 

"Here we are." Magnus said.

Alec looked and saw a blue blanket spread across the ground with a picnic basket on the side. There were rocks on each corner, and a bottle sticking out of the basket.

"A picnic?" Alec looked at Magnus, who was looking back at him carefully. 

"A picnic with alcohol and cheese...grilled cheese." His lip broke into a tiny smirk, and his eyes were amused. 

Magnus released his hand and moved to the blanket, kicking one of the rocks back in place. Alec followed him and sat down while Magnus rummaged through the basket.

"Do you like orange juice?" Magnus asked, looking back up.

"Yes." 

"Good; I brought mimosa." He took out two blue cups fashioned to look like wine glasses. He poured mimosa into both of them and handed one to him. 

Alec smiled and drank the champagne - orange juice mixture, and watched Magnus do the same. 

"I've never been on a picnic before; you know, with the blanket and basket and all." Magnus confessed while taking out the sandwiches.

"So I'm your first picnic date?" 

Magnus looked at him with a shimmer in his eyes. "I suppose you are. I brought grapes too." He held out a bowl.

"That's okay, I don't like grapes." 

Magnus appeared momentarily startled holding the bowl, and Alec almost took it back. But then he said-

"Grapes?" His hand danced over the bowl of grapes, and suddenly they were strawberries. "I said strawberries. Do you like strawberries?"

Alec raised one eyebrow. "If I say no, will they turn into pineapples?" 

"Do you like pineapples?"

Alec gave him a breathless laugh. "No. But I love strawberries." 

Magnus's smile was brighter than the sun above them. "Good." 

A little while later they were both laying on the blanket, side by side. There was only a sliver of space between them, and yet it was still too far. Alec wanted to reach out and touch him – he didn't. He kept his hand on his stomach, clenched. The moment would have felt too intimate, too vulnerable for him; his loud heart would have given him away.

Alec could hear Magnus shift next to him. He turned his head and saw that Magnus was now facing him. 

"I wanted to ask you something." His voice was soft. He smelled like strawberries and sandalwood. 

"Okay." He whispered. When Magnus reached out and touched his hair, he closed his eyes.

"I like what we have been doing these last couple of weeks. I want to keep doing that. With you." He said every word as if they were fragile on his tongue. "We haven't really talked about what we are. We've just been...going with the flow, if you will." 

His fingers ran through his hair, tugging at the ends. His hand traveled down to Alec's neck, and he began to trace the rune there. It was blissful and calming, those gentle touches. 

"I really like you, Alexander." 

Alec opened his eyes and saw the vulnerability that was only accessible to him. The Magnus Bane only he saw. 

 _I love you_. "I like you too, Magnus." He felt his throat tightened. "A lot." 

He was rewarded with a delighted smile. 

"Yeah?" Magnus leaned in closer, and his warm breath washed over Alec's face.

"Yeah." Magnus's smile was contagious. "You didn't ask me anything."

"Hmmm." His eyes were half closed. He tilted his head, lining his lips up with Alec's. "Maybe later."

"Nuh uh." Alec brought one hand up and stopped Magnus's lips with a finger. "Come on. Ask me." 

Magnus's eyes left his lips and looked into Alec's, swimming with desire and apprehension. 

"Will you... _officially_ be my boyfriend?" His words trailed off, and his eyes went back to Alec's lip.

"Trying to lock me down?" 

Magnus scoffed, and he looked back up in disbelief. "Oh, was there someone else you were hoping to seduce?" 

"Is that what I did? Seduce you?" 

"Hmph." Magnus narrowed his eyes and started tapping Alec's lip with the tip of his ringed finger.

"Answer my first question, Alexander –before this gets ugly." 

Alec took the hand on his mouth, lifting it away. He raised their now interlocked hands to his own lips, kissing the back of Magnus's hand. 

"Yes." His lips brushed against Magnus's hand.

Magnus's eyes softened, and he leaned in, kissing the back of Alec's hand. He stayed there for a moment, his eyes lost and wondering.

Then he leaned up and kissed Alec, filling his chest with elation. The kiss was slow and determined, filled with newfound feelings and hidden love. 

In that moment, it wasn't hard to believe that everything was going to be okay. 

  
* * * 

  
Catarina shut the door behind her, then nearly yelped when Chairman Meow jumped and clawed at her legs.

"Oh, you silly cat." Careful not to spill the takeout bags she carried, she leaned down and inspected her skirt. It was a soft purple that went well with both her skin tone and the one she glamoured on; it was one of her favorites for this very reason.

"You ripped my skirt." The Chairman trotted away, unashamed.

She walked towards the kitchen and sat the bags down. She would have cooked, but her day at the hospital left her too exhausted. 

"Magnus!" She called. She knew he would be rather talkative during dinner after the lunch date he just had. 

He didn't appear or respond. The Chairman returned, making his way to claw at her legs again.

"No!" She stepped away, lifting her skirt up. Chairman Meow left the kitchen again, trotting down the hallway where she knew Magnus's bedroom was. 

Reaching out with her magic, she felt distress. Apprehensive, she followed the cat down the hall, opening the door to the bedroom.

What she saw made her gasp; glass shards scattered across the floor beneath the broken window, and the bed sheets were thrown on the floor. The lamps on the nightstands held broken bulbs, and the mirror on the vanity table was broken too. 

 _No_. She ran out to the window, looking down at the streets of Brooklyn. It was just turning dark, and there was nothing but more glass shards below.

Magnus was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! I know it's been a while; don't hate me. Part of the reason this chapter took a while to be posted is because I've been working on another Malec fanfic. One that's going to start being posted once we get closer to the end of Memory Lane. I love reading your comments, so tell me what you thought of this chapter. 
> 
> ~ Baniverse <3


	11. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus makes a startling realization as his mind finally addresses what it has been hiding from him all this time. Alec has to return to the place where it all started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my girls QueenCow, EmilyRLightwood, and everydayfandom. They inspire me and support me. QueenCow and everydayfandom also write Malec fanfiction on AO3, so you should definitely go check out their stuff! 
> 
> Note: This is the first time I am posting a chapter from a laptop, because I just brought one. Every other chapter was posted from my phone. Let me know if there is any bothering differences that mess with the flow of the story. I don't want half of the story to look completely different from the other. XD 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

 

Magnus's body was on his king-sized bed, but his mind was up in the clouds. He thought of Alec and their picnic date; Alec, who was officially his boyfriend. 

 Magnus could still feel his kiss; he could feel the ghost of his lips brush against his hand in a gesture that had made his heart ache. Every moment with Alexander held a shadow of something greater, something Magnus would grasp at but could never hold onto long enough. It was a sweet version of the feeling that had tortured him for so long. The feeling that told him he had lost something important to him.

 What was it that he had lost? 

Chairman Meow jumped up on the bed, getting right in Magnus's face and tickling him with his whiskers.

 Magnus nudged him away half-heartedly, not in the mood to fulfill the cat's need for attention. 

 The Chairman had not taken kindly to that; he forced Magnus to give up one of the pillows supporting his head and then pulled the pillow onto the floor with him, likely about to claw it to shreds. Any other time, Magnus would have been appalled and would have taken action to protect his poor silk pillow; this time he had much more pressing matters.

 For example - sleep.

 Magnus had woken up early that day, fretting about the picnic and setting it up. That, plus the three hours he required to get ready resulted in him getting little to almost no sleep. He was exhausted; Catarina probably wouldn't be here for another hour or so for dinner. He could take a small nap. 

 

_Alexander_. As the edges of his mind began to fade out and his body relaxed and his breathing slowed, his honest and unfiltered thoughts were of him and a sinking feeling he couldn't place a cause to.

_Lips were traveling down the line of his back, kissing and creating a trail of fire wherever they touched. The lips stopped right where his back dipped, and then a hand placed itself there, following the trail his lips left behind._

_"Alexander." He murmured, pressing his cheek into the pillow. He was laying on his stomach, the silk sheet brought down to his thighs. He gave a blissful sigh when he felt Alec kiss his neck, right where his pulse was. Alec brought the sheet back up to cover them, pressing his leg in between Magnus's thighs, letting it rest there._

_Magnus turned his head and reached his hand out; Alec trailed his fingers across his extended arm before picking it up, putting himself under it. When Magnus finally gathered the will to open his eyes, he was dazzled by the beauty of Alec's brightened eyes and soft smile._

_Alec's hair was a complete mess of black strands that Magnus wanted to reach out and touch, knowing how soft it would feel under his fingers._

_Alec blinked against the rays of the sun that touched his face, illuminating his pale skin and making him look both angelic in his sharp features and adorable in the way his long lashes fluttered. He pressed his face into the pillow, hiding from the light._

_When Magnus chuckled at the action, Alec peeked back up at him and smiled again before scooting closer, letting Magnus block the light._

_Their faces were now only a breath apart. Magnus moved his face closer and pressed his forehead against Alec's._

_"You don't have to be there today." Alec whispered._

_Magnus moved his hand to touch Alec's cheek; he left it there for a moment before letting it travel into Alec's hair, running his fingers through._

_"Didn't we already settle this, darling?" Of course he didn't have to be there; he wanted to be there._

_"We did." Alec's eyes had closed when Magnus's fingers started to massage the back of his head, lightly tugging on his strands. His mouth opened partly and he moved forward, brushing his lips against the side of Magnus's mouth. "Just reminding you."_

_"Hmmm." Magnus tilted his head slightly, meeting Alec's lips. His lips moved slowly, taking Alec's bottom lip. The kiss was returned in the form of a peck before Alec drew back, smiling sweetly._

_"We need to get up soon. I'll go make coffee, okay?"_

_Magnus pulled Alec's head back where it was, moving onto his back and letting Alec's head hover over him. This time their cheeks touched._

_"Or you can stay here." He whispered close to Alec's ear._

_"I'll come back." Alec whispered back, drawing back and looking into Magnus's eyes. He could tell from the glimmer in Alec's eyes that his glamour was gone, revealing his true eyes._

_Alec's eyes had softened and he leaned in, giving Magnus one last kiss before getting out the bed._

_Magnus laid there waiting, not possessing any of the patience one would think an immortal would have. He closed his eyes and basked in the sun streaming through the curtains, letting it warm his bare skin._

_It was getting warmer. No, it was getting hot. It was...it was too hot._

_He opened his eyes and sat up; what he saw shook him to his core._

_Everything around him was on fire._

_Blue flames rose off the ground, climbing the walls and licking the sides of the bed. The warmth of the sun became a suffocating heat that made Magnus grab his throat. The bed was completely surrounded in the flames, trapping him._

_He was a warlock, however. He could clear a path for himself and get to the kitchen where Alec was. What if he was trapped too? Alec needed him._

_He moved onto his knees and held his hand out, trying to will away the flames that blocked him from reaching the bedroom door._

_It wasn't working; instead, in the palm of Magnus's hand was a small blue flame, caressing his fingers with a tolerable heat. Everything faded around him, leaving only the flame and him._

_He had done this. This was his fault._

_He felt it's demonic presence behind him. He turned and saw it's monstrous hand reach for him, big enough to wrap around his head. He drew back, avoiding the hand but falling back into the flames, letting his own fire burn him._

Magnus woke up on his bedroom floor, startled out of his nightmare. The sheet, which he hadn't even used to cover himself, somehow ended up entangled with his legs. He squirmed out of them, feeling as though he was still trying to get away from the demon. 

He couldn't breathe. His face felt hot, and he was sweating. He backed away from his bed until his body hit the opposing wall. As soon as his back made contact all the glass in the room shattered.

The sound of shattering glass shook through him like it was the sound of his walls breaking. Within those walls had been the reality he thought he existed in; but there had been a leak. Water droplets would fall onto his face as he sat within his glass walls, but he never understood why the droplets were there. It had never occurred to him that those droplets lead to the unapologetic flood that was drowning him now.

He looked at where his window once was. He needed air. 

He got on his knees and pushed himself to the window, feeling too powerful yet too weak to do anything to stop the pulses of energy shaking through his body like electricity. 

He looked down at the glass that scattered Brooklyn's street. The air wasn't any less suffocating, but he suddenly had somewhere to be. Somewhere he needed to go before his wall started to rebuild itself. 

He didn't know where he was going, but his body did.

_You don't have to be there today._

His throat burned with tears that refused to fall. 

He jumped.

 

* * *

He ran.

When Catarina called Alec, telling him that Magnus had disappeared into the night, he didn't know what to say. He never really knew what to say. His head was pounding, and his mind knew the truth, but his heart didn't want to believe that Magnus was gone. 

His heart wanted to believe that nothing could happen to Magnus. That he wasn't just immortal, but invincible. He had grown attached to the idea of an absolutely permanent Magnus that couldn't be touched, not even by time. Even if a dagger went through Alec's heart and he lost everyone he ever loved, Magnus would always be okay. Maybe he wouldn't be with him, but he would be somewhere, drinking vodka and being magical and staying alive. 

Alec had once thought that Magnus leaving him was the only way he could break his heart. Maybe that was still true. Maybe when Magnus had lost his memories, that was how he felt; like he had been left. Left with unrequited love and the burden of knowing that he was the only one keeping all of their precious moments alive. 

When Catarina hung up, he had moved into action, keeping on the gear he had just put on before the call. Catarina had made it clear to him that she was weak, and that it would take her a little while to gain back the energy required to track Magnus.

They didn't have time; she had made that clear too.  

When Jace had opened his bedroom door, Alec didn't have to say anything.

  _We aren't going demon-hunting tonight,_ his frantic eyes spoke. 

_Why?_

And then Jace saw why. He saw the pain in Alec's eyes that only so many people could put there. 

Magnus Bane was one of those people, and as far as Jace could tell, he always would be.

Now Jace was running with him, only next door into Alec's room. Jace watched him rummage through drawers until he pulled out a brightly-colored scarf. It was one he had borrowed but never returned. Maybe Alec would return it if Magnus ever remembered he had let him borrowed it. 

When Alec took Jace's hand, the scarf held between them, Jace could feel the storm inside him. He could feel it as Alec clutched his hands tightly, forcing Jace to tighten them so that Alec didn't break his fingers. He could see it in Alec's eyes when they met his, filled with distress. When their hands started to glow with an iridescent light, Alec was focused. 

But when Alec saw where Magnus was, he wanted to tear apart the scarf and scream in frustration. It was inevitable, all of it. He knew this, deep inside. 

So why was he still shaking? Why did he still feel lost? Why didn't he lock Magnus in the bedroom that day? 

He ran through the institute doors and out into the streets of New York City, praying to the angels above for Magnus, enough so that heaven would forever know his name. 

 

* * *

 

Magnus was pacing among the wreckage of the burned building, feeling a burning rage within his veins. He didn't know where he was, but he knew that he hated it and that he wanted to ruin the already damaged warehouse further.

So that was exactly what he did; he raised his hands and brought rubble into the air before breaking it down further into ash. Some objects crashed into one another, and others simply flew around him, following his pacing and shaking like they, too, were angry. 

It wasn't enough. He needed more, longed for more - there was too much inside him, pulsing through him in waves and making it hard to breathe. It was consuming him which made him only angrier. His own body was rebelling against him as if it wanted to rule him. 

Nothing ruled him. Nothing had power over him. Nothing-

"Magnus."

He stopped his pacing and turned around, only to be met with the person he didn't realize he had been waiting for.

Alec was standing there, clad in leather gear and imaginary angel wings. He was annoyingly handsome and his hands were in the air in a careful gesture, his face terribly calm,

Magnus took it all in and felt his anger rise even further, boiling his blood and clenching his fists. 

Alec took a step forward, and Magnus narrowed his eyes,

"Don't. Stay away from me." His voice was harsh.

Alec hesitated and he moved his foot back, staying where he was. Alec took a deep breath before speaking, his eyes careful and his face still calm. 

"Magnus, what happened? What are you doing here?" His voice was so soft, a whisper in all the yelling inside Magnus's head. 

"That's the problem, isn't it?" His voice was shaking now, still angry. Alec didn't look like he understood, so Magnus clarified. "I don't know the answer to either of those questions." 

Alec shook his head. "Magnus, what are you talking abou-"

"Do not!" Magnus suddenly yelled, stopping Alec, leaving him gaping in shock.  "Do not act like you don't know what I am talking about. I am not an imbecile, Alexander." 

He started to pace again. The objects flying around him started to move more sporadically, reflecting how he felt inside. They were everywhere, and yet somehow they didn't touch Alec. They shifted and moved around him, getting close enough to tense his muscles but not close enough to hit him. As if they intended to hit him but changed their mind or only wanted to frighten him. 

"Okay, you're right, Magnus. You're right, but I need you to calm down. I understand-"

A piece of metal flew towards Alec's face. He ducked, but it didn't get close enough to hit him if he hadn't. All it did was stop him from talking, which was all Magnus wanted him to do. 

Magnus stepped forward and glared at Alec. 

"No, you don't. Don't tell me you understand, because I don't remember telling you at all about what I have been going through." His voice was low and unfaltering. " I was fine. I was the High Warlock of Brooklyn who owned one of the most popular clubs and hosted the most fabulous parties. I had years of experience in anything you could think of. My life wasn't ordinary, not even for a warlock, but I built it up from what I could and made the most of it. I turned a self-hating warlock boy with too much power and dead parents into someone people spoke of, someone people noticed. It wasn't normal but it was fine until it wasn't, and I didn't know why!" 

By the end of it his voice was broken and shaking, but it had risen so that the last word was a yell in Alec's direction like an accusation. That's what he was doing, Magnus realized. He was accusing Alec of knowing beyond what he himself knew. 

It took Magnus a moment of heavy breathing to realize Alec was crying. His face was still calm and his eyes were still careful, but a single tear was traveling down his cheek.

The flying pieces of rubble started to calm and fall, crashing onto the floor. Magnus still didn't know what was happening, but his anger was dissipating, replaced with exhaustion.

Alec didn't move, but his head lifted as he spoke. "I'm sorry." 

"Magnus." A light voice spoke behind him. He turned and saw Catarina standing there, one hand held behind her back. Her hair was the brightest thing in the dead of night.

"Catarina, what are you-"

Arms enclosed around Magnus, trapping him. A chill shot through him and he pushed back against Alec's chest, fighting against him. Catarina surged forward, taking out a long needle filled with a glowing yellow substance from behind her back. 

"Oh, how noble." He spat out, trying to push Alec's arms away. The shadowhunter was stronger than him, and Magnus could do nothing but struggle. "Restraining the rogue warlock. I suppose I am no longer protected by the Accords, then, because of my actions?"

Alec didn't respond, only tightened his arms around Magnus. 

Catarina was in front of him now. He was bent over, trying to push Alec back with his elbows. He looked up at her, betrayal hot in his chest. 

She planted her hand on his shoulder and stuck the needle in his neck, injecting him with the glowing liquid. His neck stung as it slid inside him.

Instantly that familiar feeling of serenity went through him, the same one he got every time the water droplets leaking into his glass cube started to drip too quickly. He stopped fighting against Alec, letting his head fall back on his shoulder. 

Everything had calmed around him. The pulses of energy were muted within him, and his heartbeat slowed. He wanted to push away the calm that he once welcomed. He probably would have sobbed right there if Alec wasn't holding him, and if Catarina wasn't whispering a sleeping spell into his ear. 

Darkness enclosed around him, narrowing his vision. 

He didn't know that this was the second time Alec had to hold his limp body in this very warehouse. The only thing he was aware of was the pleasantly warm body that was holding him as the darkness took him away. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo what did y'all think? Should I run? 
> 
> Let me know in the comments! I love reading your comments. 
> 
> BTW I made a tumblr. I'll be posting snippets there as well as my twitter, Baniverse is my blog (is that correct tumblr terminology?) and @baniverse is my twitter. I'm also open to discussion on both of those platforms. Seriously, do it. I met QueenCow through this story and she's practically my big sister now. I love her so much. She was the one who introduced me to the others. Did I mention that you should go read her drabbles, as well as read everydayfandom's stuff? Everydayfandom is working on a story called The Persistence of Memory. It's glorious. 
> 
> ~ Baniverse <3


	12. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Magnus's second visit to the warehouse, he wakes up and makes a discovery that changes everything he thought he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added Note: I post snippets on twitter (@baniverse) and tumblr (Baniverse)! 
> 
> 9/9/16 - edit to formatting
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

 

 

 

Magnus could hear voices.

 They were scattered all around him, every single word unintelligible and said by voices he recognized. Tones he had become accustomed to throughout his years. Some light and airy. Some eternally moody and wise. They were his only companions in this darkness.

 One voice stood out the most. This voice was deep, and it held both Idris and New York in its notes, a combination that soothed Magnus. The more he concentrated on that voice, the clearer the words it spoke became. 

_You're confusing me._

_Everything I have ever known-_

_I don't think they'll ever forgive me._

_You watch the people you care about age and die._

_I'm sorry._

Magnus wanted to find that voice. Everything the voice said struck a chord inside him, making him reach out with a hand he couldn't see. He clung onto those words like they were pieces of the puzzle that had become his mind. The words were made of smoke; they slipped away from him, as did the darkness. 

 

* * *

 

When Magnus's eyes finally opened, he was lost. There was a dim glow where he was, and shadows that told him a small light lit the room. He was breathing hard, and he felt trapped where he was. He tried to recall the voices, the words, but they didn't come. They had abandoned him, leaving behind frustration that grew in his chest by the second. 

The room was suddenly illuminated with a dim blue glow, and he felt the tickle of flames on his fingers. He sat up and reached out with his fire-bearing hand, held out over his head until a hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist, forcing his hand back down on the bed. Another hand placed itself on his chest and pushed him back on the bed. 

Magnus realized it was Alec and felt tragically resentful towards him. He tried to pull his hand away and push with his other, forcing Alec to press down with his own body so he could use his other hand to stop him. Finally Magnus was pinned, Alec towering over him. 

"Get off of me." He spat out, his voice thrumming with power. He had so much within him, but none of it could be used against Alec. He didn't have it within him to do so. 

Alec didn't move. "Put away the fire." His voice was low, almost a whisper. 

Magnus wanted to scream. Irritation was growing within him like a wildfire as he struggled. He caught a glint in Alec's eyes, making him falter. The blue light revealed hidden lines in Alec's face that showed worries too old for someone so young.

Young in a world where immortals roamed. 

His skin was too pale. The circles under his eyes were dark and prominent. The more his eyes trailed over Alec's sharp lines, the more fragile they became. Magnus forgot why he was angry. He wondered if he ever really knew why. 

The blue glow left the room. Alec released Magnus's wrist and began pulling away, but Magnus reached up and touched his cheek, stilling him. 

His skin was soft and pliant when he unconsciously leaned into Magnus's hand. Alec caught himself and tensed up. He seemed unsure, but his eyes didn't leave Magnus's as they searched. What Magnus saw in those depths brought him back toevery moment since they had met in Pandemonium. 

"Oh, Alec," His voice was significantly softer than it had been only a moment before,"I didn't know."

Alec closed his eyes when Magnus's fingers started to trail over the side of his face. "Know what?"

"You've been so sad. All this time..." His fingers reached Alec's lips. They looked abused, bit on by the teeth of a worried man. Without a thought, a tiny blue spark revealed itself, meant to heal those lips. 

Alec's eyes were screwed shut now, tighter than before. He pulled away from Magnus's hand and moved away from the bed. Magnus's hand was still reached out into the air when Alec turned away, his back facing Magnus. His hand had reached up to comb itself through his hair and then scratch there, stressed. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Alec asked, not looking back.

Magnus sat up and fought against the need to reach out and touch Alec again. He remembered going to a warehouse, but he didn't remember why he was drawn to it. He remembered anger, desperation...

_I'm sorry._

Magnus stared at the shadow Alec's tall figure created as he thought. Alec had been there. He remembered Alec's arms around him, restraining him while...

"Where is she?" Magnus asked.

Alec was looking back now, inspecting Magnus with tired eyes. There was nothing harsh in them, and Magnus couldn't think of a time Alec's eyes weren't gentle looking at him.

Magnus felt troubled by them. "Alec...I don't know why Catarina decided to involve you in whatever this is, but this has been going on since before I met you, I think. You're not responsible, you don't have to be here."

Alec said nothing. 

Catarina chose that moment to enter the dim lit room, a mug held in her cerulean hand. Her hair was pinned up loosely, and Magnus realized she was exhausted too. Her face was trained into the expression of a kind nurse on night shift. 

"Magnus! So glad to see you're awake." She looked at Alec who was looking at her. Magnus looked back and forth between them and felt confused as he sensed their wordless conversation. Whatever had passed between them convinced Alec to leave.

He walked out quickly and Magnus watched as he did before looking back at Catarina. It had occurred to him in that moment, as he looked beyond her, that he was in his bedroom. 

Catarina sat down on the edge of his bed, placing the mug on his bedside table. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked kindly. Magnus looked at the mug and then back at her. 

"Is that drugged?" His voice was almost spiteful.

She shook her head and pulled out a small vial from the folds of her skirt, placing it next to the mug. It was filled with a glowing yellow substance. "It can be."

He stared at the vial. feeling slightly light headed. "How long have you been doing that?"

She played with the vial, letting it clink with the mug a few times. "Two months, give or take."

Magnus could have expressed many emotions at this information. He fought down the impulsive urges, because what he needed most at that moment was to understand. "Why?"

"You needed it."

Magnus took a deep breath. "Two months. What happened two months ago?"

Catarina stilled her hand. "Why don't you tell me?"

Magnus just looked at her, not getting it.

She leaned in, her eyes hard on his. "Why did you go to that warehouse?" 

"I needed somewhere to go." 

"So you chose that warehouse." 

Magnus's irritation returned at that. He leaned in, mimicking her. "What's so special about that one?"

"I think you know." 

"I don't."

She tapped her fingers against the bed. "You were drawn to it. You must remember something."

_Remember._ The saying of that word was becoming a common occurrence, and it's undertones were unnerving him. 

"Are you saying that I've forgotten something?"

She leaned back now, looking down, seeming to collect her thoughts. Magnus wondered when his hand had started to clutch the satin sheet, as it was doing now. 

"Magnus." Her voice was gentle.

"Catarina." His was insistent. 

"Two months ago, at that warehouse...there was an accident. You were injured."

Magnus listened, forcing himself to breathe steadily.  

"You were brought somewhere safe and I took care of you. You had a severe head injury. When you woke up, it became apparent that you did not have any recollection of what happened, nor were you able to answer every question I asked you about your past."

He thought for a moment, then said."Retrograde amnesia."

She nodded. "Yes. It wasn't..." She took a deep breath, "It's supposed to only be temporary. My plan was to stay with you and look over your injury until it was healed and you remembered. And I think you were beginning to. You would...react a certain way when you saw or talked to certain people from those memories you lost."

"How did I react?"

She paused for a moment. "Negatively." 

"Negatively?" 

"Sometimes violently." 

_Violently._ Surely this couldn't have been true. He hadn't been one to lose control since he was a child.  And yet...when he woke up, he held fire in his hand with no good intentions. He tore that broken warehouse down further, revealing everything he felt inside. Alec had to hold him down both times, reigning in the demons Magnus didn't know he had.

Catarina continued. "It isn't always. Sometimes you'll simply be distressed. You'll get tired. I've been trying to find a way to give you back your memories without you having these attacks. All I asked for was time until I could make sure you were ready. I asked for them to stay away until then." 

Magnus's eyes had strayed away from her, trailing over his sheets as his thoughts scattered and his breathing became harder to steady. When her words connected in his mind, he looked back. "They?"

"Magnus," Catarina leaned forward and was speaking quickly now, as if she could sense his overwhelming thoughts, threatening to shut him off from her,"You've lived a very long time. You're not human, so it's hard to treat you correctly when there haven't been many cases of warlocks with amnesia. All I have to use are human records, and it had occurred to me a while ago that they are only so helpful, because warlock brains are wired differently, built to retain more. While I've been watching you, I've observed your reactions. You react differently to things that are from times you can't remember. From what I can tell, you've lost many memories throughout your existence, six months to maybe even a year worth of memories lost each couple of decades. You've lived so long that you don't even notice those lost years."

He was breathing harder now. "Who are _they,_ Catarina?"

A sigh. Two eyes watching. Three quick breaths.

Finally, she spoke. "Alec and his friends."

_Alec._

A long moment stretched between them as Magnus fought to comprehend everything she was saying. "I don't understand."

"You knew him, Magnus. Before you lost your memory. He was with you when it happened, and he was the one who brought you to me."

Magnus stared off into the distance, struggling to let that sink in without choking him. His chest was tight. 

_I'm sorry._

Magnus thought of his tired eyes. Alec was exhausted. Alec was sad. Magnus had thought this was a burden he needed to keep from Alec, but this had been their shared burden from the beginning. Before they had even...before he thought they met. 

_Oh god._ Who was Alec? Who was he, truly, to Magnus?

The clink of glass against ceramic brought him back to the present. He looked and saw that Catarina had the vial in her hand, still filled with the potion.

"I can put this in your tea if you want." She said quietly, revisiting her previous offer. 

"What's giving me a choice?"

"We were giving it to you to keep you calm. All the time you've been spending with him on top of your growing immunity for it means it'll have no real effect on you soon. I'll have to make a stronger one. But...I'm hoping that if you're aware of your situation, you'll be able to stop the attacks yourself. I can't keep making stronger potions. It won't help you forever."

Magnus shook his head. "I don't want it."

Catarina nodded and put the vial back in her skirt. After another long moment filled with an impending past Magnus couldn't leave behind, she rose from the bed and walked towards the door. She knew him well enough to know when he needed a moment alone. A moment to think.

A moment to breathe.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Alec was leaning over the kitchen counter, both of his hands supporting him against it as his head was tilted towards the ground, his eyes closed. A glass filled with water rested on the counter in front of him. He was focused on his breathing, ignoring thoughts that threatened to unsteady him. 

When Catarina appeared, he turned towards her. 

"What happened?" He asked, almost frantically. 

She sighed and patted her hair down, smoothing it out. "I'm giving him a moment to let it sink in."

A chill traveled down his spine. "You told him?"

"You knew I would."

He nodded and then hesitated before he spoke again. "Everything?"

She understood what he wanted to know. "I told him you were with him in the warehouse when it happened. I told him he knew you before."

He nodded and turned away, scratching the back of his head. 

"You should go home and rest." Her hand touched Alec's shoulder, sensing tension.

"I'm staying here."

Another sigh. Alec spoke, knowing she would insist. "I'll sleep on the couch. You've been using too much magic since yesterday. _You_ should go home."

"If something happens..."

He turned again to look at her. "I'll be here."

Her eyes narrowed. "But you'll call me, yes?"

Alec nodded. 

She looked at him, considering. She seemed to have went through many possible situations in her mind before she relented. "Alright, then."

When she left, Alec remained with a sunken stomach and chaotic thoughts. The hallway that leads to Magnus's bedroom screamed at him, an impending future waiting for him. 

He goes for the glass of water, taking a long gulp. He held the glass too loosely, and so when he pulled it away from his lips, it fell to the floor. The glass shattering was deafening in the silence.

He could have caught it before it touched the ground. His reflexes would have allowed it. He simply hadn't cared enough in the moment to do so. 

He bent down to pick up the shards, placing them on the counter. He grabbed one of the towels hung on the handle before turning back to the puddle.

_He bent back down and began soaking up the water with the towel. He heard the sound of a foot tapping and an exaggerated sigh._

_"You know, most people would be pleased at the idea of having not having to clean up glass because they have a magical boyfriend."_

_Alec shook his head, not turning around. "You were sleeping."_

_When Magnus walked around to stand in front of Alec, he looked up. Magnus's face was devoid of makeup, and all he wore was a shimmery silk robe left partly open, leaving little to the imagination._

_Not that Alec would have needed that._

_"As you should be. It's three in the morning." Magnus's expression was one of mock disapproval._

_"I was thirsty."_

_"Hmmm." Magnus bent down and picked up a shard near Alec's hand, one that he had missed._

_"What's your excuse for being awake?"_

_"My portable heater disappeared. I was left cold and alone in my bed."_

_Alec rolled his eye. "I was gone for five minutes."_

_"Too long." Magnus smiled, and the action made his golden-green eyes almost glow._

_Alec forced himself to look away so that he could continue, but he found that all the water had disappeared, leaving the floor dry as though it was never there. Alec kept his head tilted down, but his eyes looked up at Magnus._

_His smile had turned wider and he reached out to touch Alec's chest, pulling on his shirt. Alec let him, meeting Magnus in a kiss. His hands brushed the edges of where Magnus's robe opened, feeling both silk and skin._

_Magnus held onto one of his hands and pulled back, his head tilted up, his nose brushing Alec's._

_"You should come back to bed." His tone was slightly suggestive._

_"I can't." Alec found himself saying._

_Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"_

_"I'm not ready."_

Alec felt a stinging pain in his hand. A sharp line of red trailed along his palm where glass had cut him, caused by a forgotten shard. The pain had awaken him from his daydream, his memory, before reality had needlessly intertwined with it. 

When the mess was gone and his cut was cleaned, he moved to the couch where he would sleep until Magnus came out. If Magnus wasn't out by the time he woke up, then he would wait.

Forever, if he had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....................okay look....I am a full time student and I work and um..just tell me what you thought and....like...please don't hurt me for posting this chapter so late. I'm so fragile, I'm only a sugar cube. I wuv y'all.
> 
> ~ Baniverse <3


	13. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus leaves his room and finds a sleeping shadowhunter on his couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing and beautiful and kind EmilyRLightwood for betaing this chapter! Can you believe my stories will actually be better quality now because my wonderful wife is betaing them? 
> 
> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

A hole was burning through the door where Magnus’s gaze rested,  piercing into the wood like the needles in his heart. It had begun gradually, the sting in his chest. The longer he thought through what he did remember, the more unsteady he felt. He didn’t know how long he sat there, at the edge of his bed, one leg hanging off, his foot pressed against the floor; as though he was ready to stand, but he wasn’t strong enough to do so.

His hand gripped the sheet. Letting his emotions overwhelm him would be dangerous. Control over the energy within him was something he had gained a long time ago. He had lost part of that control along the way. He was on the edge of it, ready to slip off. To give in.

He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He was stronger than that. He was better than that.

Finally, after minutes or what could have been hours, he rose from the edge and walked to the door, placing his hand on cold smoothed wood. He felt a chill go through his body, and he wondered if the room was cold or if his body was overheated, his skin pulsing with fire under the surface. He wondered if the fire was still in his hands, invisible. Even more dangerous.

His hand moved to even colder metal. He opened the door and walked down the hallway slowly, each step cautious and quiet. The lights were off, only the gentle glow of the sun peeking over the horizon, not yet passing over the lowest buildings. He could imagine purple fading to orange, a beautiful sight he had seen many times before and would never forget.

When he entered the living room and saw Alec laying on the couch, his face softened in his slumber, shielded by the glow of morning from the sofa’s back, Magnus realized that that of which was beautiful and left him in awe was not immune to being forgotten.

His feet led him closer, and only for a moment did he note the absurdity of a shadowhunter on his couch, sleeping. Catarina was nowhere in sight, and perhaps he should have wondered why. But he couldn’t bother to as he stared. His feet had led him to the sofa’s edge. Alec slept with his head on the arm of the couch and his feet almost dangled off the other side. Both of his hands were folded together on his stomach, which was partly exposed, his shirt having rided up his side from shifting. 

He kneeled down. Maybe if Alec hadn’t managed to look so innocent and breathtaking in his sleep, Magnus would have shoved him off the couch and demanded answers after threatening to take a foot off the young man’s height.

Alec had looked so troubled when Magnus woke up, and now he looked calm and relieved, no longer pushing his body to move and his mind to stay awake. He reached out a hand and hovered it over Alec’s cheeks, his eyes, his lips.

What if the fire was still there, tangled with his fingers, licking his palm, but invisible? What if Alec had been that fire, invisible to Magnus, but always there, burning through his skin, into his mind?

After a long moment where his breath had been held and his hand was hovered over bitten lips, he touched those lips, and they were soft as he always knew they were. His fingers skimmed over cheeks and touched dark circles under resting eyes, eyes framed with long lashes that spoke of innocence but argued with sharp lines and scars that spoke of battle and growing wisdom.

Alec’s chest moved up and down slowly. Magnus saw, from the corner of his eye, a dark line peeking out of his shirt. His gaze shifted and he spotted the rune that stretched from below the neckline, across his neck to the space under his chin, stretching across his jaw. His hand moved down to trace that rune. Goosebumps rose when he did and suddenly Alec took a deep breath.

When Magnus looked up, Alec was staring back at him.

 

Alec was a light sleeper. He was taught to be. If ever came the time where he had to go on a long mission, he needed to be alert at all times. He had to be able to react to any sound, no matter how quiet. The sounds could not escape his notice, not even in sleep.

He should have woken up when Magnus’s steps made the wooden floor creak, if they had at all. He should have woken up when Magnus’s fingers skimmed over his face in gentle caresses. But Alec had never felt in danger when close to Magnus, at least not because of him. Even when his mind told him to be cautious, to never dismiss a slight change in Magnus’s mood or a twitch in his fingers, his heart reached out to Magnus  and begged his body to respond. It was only when those fingers touched his neck that he awoke, feeling the slight, pleasant chill where his skin was especially sensitive.

Magnus was gold in the sunlight. Alec laid sheltered from it, admiring what he saw before him. The sun was rising and so were his hopes when he saw the look in Magnus’s eyes, a look he had seen before. The one that made him feel special.

Magnus pulled his hand away, tucking it under his arm.

“Forgive me. You looked dead, so I was checking for a pulse.”

Alec blinked and opened his mouth but said nothing. Magnus’s face was devoid of makeup, wiped off with a warm cloth by Alec while he had been asleep. Magnus looked younger because of it, and slightly vulnerable.

“Why are you on my couch?”

Alec sat up then, his bones aching from his long held position.

“I was asleep.” He started rubbing his neck, both from the need to soothe the ache there and because of the awkward position he found himself in.

Magnus’s eyes had narrowed. “Obviously. On my couch?”

“Where else?”

“My instinct is to reply with ‘my bed’, but I’m not in the mood for that kind of talk.”

Magnus moved off the floor and sat on the couch, inches away from Alec. Alec sighed and rubbed his neck again, sitting up straighter. He almost dreaded to find out what it was Magnus did want to talk about.

Magnus was silent for a long moment. Alec looked at him and waited, unsure of what to do.

“So,” Magnus finally said, crossing his arms over his chest,” you’ve been lying to me.”

Anxiety filled Alec’s chest, something he hadn’t been prepared for. How would he explain that he was only doing what seemed best for Magnus at the time? Surely Magnus didn’t think Alec wanted to lie to him. There were moments where the truth had almost  slipped off his tongue in what Alec had thought were innocent words, until he had realized they would give him away.

Magnus continued. “You knew me before that night in Pandemonium. Did you...have you been drugging me too?”

Alec said nothing.

Magnus nodded and looked at Alec, meeting his eyes. The sudden eye contact almost startled Alec, with everything being said and the harshness he saw in brown irises that almost flashed with green.

“And exactly what gave you that right?”

 _By the angel._ “Magnus-”

Magnus’s eyes narrowed. “Who were you?”

Alec was stupefied. “What?”

“Who were you to me?”

 _Were._ That word stung in his chest. “I...we…” He couldn’t speak.

Magnus looked at him carefully now. Alec could feel him follow each syllable that escaped in a stutter, the expression on Alec’s face. Magnus looked away and took a deep breath, and Alec stopped trying to speak because Magnus knew, just as he always seemed to.

“So that night after _Per Se_ wasn’t our first kiss, huh.” It wasn’t a real question, nor was it something Alec expected Magnus to say. He shook his head in reply, nevertheless.

Magnus took another deep breath and Alec noticed his shoulders had tensed while his eyes glazed for a moment, staring off into the distance. Then he looked at Alec and focused his eyes there.

“You said you were sorry. Why?”

Alec thought back and almost cringed when he remembered how Magnus had looked in the middle of that warehouse, his pain expressed in the way everything moved around him, visible in the words he spoke.

Magnus had looked as though he hated the world. Alec hated it too, seeing the cracks on Magnus’s skin. He felt the ghost of the tear that had fallen down his face. Brought out with the thought of how Magnus looked like a king who had fallen off his throne.

No, Magnus couldn’t fall. He had been pushed, and even if Alec hadn’t been the hands to push him, he hadn’t been there in time to stop it.

“I don’t like seeing you in pain.” He finally said. They were the only words that hadn’t come out in a stutter. Alec wondered if Magnus would ask him exactly what had happened then.

Another flash of green. Alec wondered if that meant Magnus was losing control. Before he could think too much of it, Magnus looked away, staring at the wall and then up at the ceiling.

 _Is he struggling?_ Alec asked himself. He didn’t want that. He should say something, anything.

“I’ll be honest,” Magnus began with his lips slightly pursed,” when I asked you to be my boyfriend, I was very nervous. It would have been nice to know we were already dating. Save me the pain.”

It wasn’t unlike Magnus to use sarcasm and humor in these situations. It had taken Alec a moment to adjust to the change, but then he scoffed. “Yeah? And how would that have worked? ‘Hi, my name’s Alec. I’m your boyfriend.’”

“I don’t see why not. Would have been a dream come true. ‘Whatever you say, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.’”

Alec couldn’t hold back a laugh at that. Magnus’s lips twisted into a small smile pointed at the ceiling, and then at Alec. It was amazing how quickly Magnus could make him laugh no matter how he felt.

“I doubt it would have been that easy. And you seemed happy when I said yes.”

“Still.”

“I was nervous too.” He found himself saying.

Magnus’s eyebrow raised. “When I asked you?”

Alec shook his head. “When _I_ asked _you_.”

Magnus looked bewildered for a moment, searching Alec’s face. He looked down at his hands then, clenching and unclenching one of them. He was very focused on that one. Alec wondered what would happen if he reached out and held that hand.

“I don’t remember. I’m sorry.”

Alec reached out his hand and touched Magnus’s wrist. “No, I didn’t - it’s not your fault.”

Magnus looked at Alec’s hand. “It’s not your fault either.”

"You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

Alec shook his head. “Then who’s fault is it?”

Magnus shrugged and curled his fingers up, brushing them against the rune on Alec’s hand. “I’m sure bad things happen to beautiful bisexual men everyday.”

Alec sighed and placed his face in his unoccupied hand. “You’re awful.”

"Awful, beautiful bisexual men, then.” Magnus turned his hand and trailed his fingers across Alec’s wrist, halfway up his forearm and then back. Something he had always done, without a thought. It was just another echo of the past Alec noted with affection.

Magnus brought his hand up and tapped Alec’s palm. “I’m still angry. And upset. And confused. Just not so much at you, I think. You didn’t have much control over the situation. I understand that.”

Magnus paused for a moment before meeting Alec’s eyes, and they were searching again. “You could tell me.”

Alec was entranced by green and gold. “Tell you what?”

“What I’ve forgotten.”

Alec hesitated. “Magnus, we don’t know-”

“If I’ll get triggered? Isn’t that what we want?”

Alec shook his head. “Why would we want that?”

“So that I’ll remember.” Magnus leaned forward, insistent.

“Magnus, it’s barely been a day. You need time to adjust.”

“Alexander.” Magnus said softly, causing strings to pull at his heart.  Magnus’s eyes showed desperation and frustration in their depths. The soft voicing of his name from Magnus’s lips was almost enough to make him give Magnus anything he wanted. The only thing that stopped him was the need to make sure Magnus would be okay.

“Give it a week, okay? Then I’ll tell you...something.”

Magnus looked unimpressed. “Something?”

“What do you want to know?”

Magnus looked off to the side, thinking.

“I wouldn’t really know, would I?” He said, more to himself than Alec.

No, he wouldn’t. Magnus knew they were romantically involved before that night in Pandemonium, but he didn’t understand the depth of what it had been. Magnus didn’t know about the moments that had softened the shell Alec had formed around his heart, the moments that had torn down Magnus’s walls. He didn’t know about the secrets they had shared, the confessions they had made.

He didn’t know how extraordinarily in love they had been.

“Give it a week, okay? Then I’ll...take you out. And I’ll tell you…”

Magnus waited, one eyebrow raised.

“...a story.”

Magnus nodded his head once, slowly. “A story. About what?”

The sun was higher now, and the image of a golden heart with his name inside flashed across his mind. He took a deep breath, then answered.

“Us.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys! Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I just moved into a new place so I'm very sluggish haha. 
> 
> ~ Baniverse <3


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